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A shipping mistake brings two strangers together on an icy world. It seems they both share a desire for warmer climates...
My first entry, and my first contest entry as well!
Written for https://aryion.com/g4/user/LivesInAStomach Endo-Rama Contest, managed to submit via PM at the very last minute! I'm posting it now so it has a public space. there's only been some grammar editing from then till now.
Perhaps I merely had hippos on the brain come Christmas... this story was originally much bigger in scope, but I pared it down quite a bit to fit the 5000 word limit. I'm not totally happy with it, but I did finish the thing, so here it stays. Please comment and let me know what you think!
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Posted by Matteo42 2 years ago Report
Holy moly sweet macaroni, this is so good... I love endo so much, really, and you made it just.... *hmmmm*
It's an honour, being the first to comment on this :D
Posted by Darian 2 years ago Report
Yay, my first comment! Thank you so much! If you don't mind elaborating... what did you like the most about it? I already plan on editing it a bit so the formatting looks better.
Posted by Matteo42 2 years ago Report
All in all, there's two things I love in stories; "safe" vore and originality. (exceptions apply).
In this case, it's a bit of both. Gel-producing planets, using people as transports through solar systems, all of that is pretty unique, in a vore setting (though probably not 100% unique). Changing a bit from the usual babysitter-eats-the-kids and the classic lines like "you'll add nicely to my tits" is something many people fear of doing, it seems.
So yeah, originality and diversity are great.
On the other part, safe/consensual vore is by far my favorite thing in this whole fetish, so I'm 100% biased there xD
Seriously though, if you're going to edit it, I suggest finding something more clear to show when you're changing perspectives. Personally, I use ~ and ~ ~ ~ to show a jump forward in time/a narrator change. Also, I suggest trying to make it visible through the dialogue who's talking. Have a person from the countryside talk in relax tongue, while the doctor fancies using pronounced terms for every situation, or have small leaks of information in their talks that let the readers imagine the character's past, etc.
Stuff like that is really what sets master apart from less trained writers (hello, that's me!).
Take from this what you want; I aint no expert in the subject, I just write down what seems logical xD
Posted by Nyummins 2 years ago Report
I really dug the explanation of using technology to create a safe environment in Frida while meeting the human's needs. It's a nice touch.
Can't imagine having those wires in her throat was comfortable though, even for someone that big.
Posted by Broniele97 1 year ago Report
A true masterpiece, please continue it
Posted by Sriseru 1 year ago Report
I *really* enjoyed this story! <3
I just wish there was more. >w>
Posted by Darian 1 year ago Report
Thanks for the compliment! you're one of the more prolific Vore-artists around. If I get some more free time and inspiration, I might just!
Posted by Sriseru 1 year ago Report
I'd love that. <3
Posted by alockwood1 1 year ago Report
Interesting.
Posted by leonthegreat 5 months ago Report
I enjoyed this story. Nice work. I sure hope you eventually make more.