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Commission: Perma-Preg Vacation By notabot -- Report

Uploaded: 2 years ago

Views: 14,718

File size: 37.65 KiB

MIME Type: application/vnd.openxmlformats-officedocument.wordprocessingml.document

Comments: 7

Favorites: 103

A commissioned story, Nix's mother and stepmother have a lot in common. They're both permanently pregnant, they're both huge and curvaceous, and they both want him, one for his body, one for his money. But as they compete for his affections, Nix's mother Stella takes extreme steps to come out on top.

Commissioned by Jimbo-scion

Comment on Commission: Perma-Preg Vacation

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Comments
smog1

Posted by smog1 2 years ago Report

i apologize if this is going to sound negative.

I dont really like the ending to this story.

For starters, the evil woman will need her son to sign the papers and stuff. How is she goign to do that with him trapped inside?

Makes no sense really.

Again, I apologize and i am not trying to hate this story of yours that was commissioned.

Nevek

Posted by Nevek 2 years ago Report

Forgery is easy.

smog1

Posted by smog1 2 years ago Report

i would understand if you prefer to delete my message. I apologoze for being salty XS

Forstand

Posted by Forstand 2 years ago Report

This story was really great, bravo!

Apostolos

Posted by Apostolos 2 years ago Report

Honestly this is just a sad ending for Nix and Maggie, separated forever by a greedy mother who just couldn’t let money slip away

Iamsam123

Posted by Iamsam123 2 years ago Report

Honestly I don't mind the story format and it has a lot of potential, but I don't think it ended as good as it could've ended. I think you should 've shortened it by removing the japanese woman, because it just seemed unnecessary and was more filler than any substance. I would've personally had Stella be more cruel and marry the japanese woman and have her unbirth Magdalena so she becomes an important part of the story. I would give it a 6/10, otherwise great work!

Iamsam123

Posted by Iamsam123 2 years ago Report

I do apologize if I offended you in anyway, I am a huge fan of your other works and wished you posted more on this site, I just think that this story is not as good compared to your previous stories.