Posted by conix32 14 years ago Report

I love the set up for the next chapter.

Posted by Indighost 14 years ago Report

Thanks conix! I have about 3 or 4 more episodes sketched out in this story before it's entirely over. (Though I have more work this month, so I'll likely take a bit of a break for a while).

Posted by Sora 14 years ago Report

Oh Indighost, you never cease to amaze me with your literary prowess!

The demise of Mariska was so erotic! I was so afraid that Liza was going to throw her up, but once Mary Jane (whose thought process at the time I absolutely loved) took control and prevented that, I was overjoyed.

Very rarely have I witnessed a writer so incredibly detailed and whose work covers such a wide array of different fetishes.

When your work pops up in my watch feed it makes my day! I can't wait for the next installment!

Please, never stop writing!

Posted by Indighost 14 years ago Report

Thanks Sora :3 That's exactly the tone I was aiming for: A little element of naughtiness, a little guilt, a little bit of torture and redemption, but retaining the generally silly and friendly tone of the story.

I have the next 3 episodes (which I may break up in order to generate more cliffhangers) already planned out :), but your comments, ideas, and suggestions are always appreciated.

I promise you I won't stop writing. I may take a bit of a break ( or slow-down ) in the next 2 months to complete my CFA exam, but I'll get back to it.

Posted by Stalbon 14 years ago Report

Your writing skills are certainly very in-depth and excellent! I'm both in on the cow swallowing a dragon thing (it's certainly a fetish to me), and yet...I'm not that much into it this time around. It felt a bit forced, to have such a turnaround. That being said, this is the first one of yours I read full-through (I'm very much not into scat, so I've avoided the others, sadly.) so I'm not as familiar with Liza and all...and the vore parts are very quickly started and over with, so in essence some of it seems rushed over. Still, again, you have a lot of talent working here. Keep it up. :)

Posted by Indighost 14 years ago Report

Thanks very much for this thoughtful critical comment, Stalbon. While writing this chapter I did feel I was covering familiar ground and had to 'push through' some of the scenes, so I think that your criticism that that scene felt a bit forced is probably true as I have done a similar scene in ch. 3. (the other non-scat chapter). The next three episodes I have planned for this series all involve different and yet-unseen types of pred/prey situations and scenarios, so hopefully the variety will allow a fresh sense of newness to enter into each one.

As for the vore parts happening quickly, that's more of a preference thing--I'm usually more interested in digestion/stomachache fetish than I am on the actual act of vore. But I am always looking to add variety in my stories and perhaps I will include a more slow-motion vore scene in a later story. Thanks again for the very constructive comment! :)

Posted by Indighost 14 years ago Report

By the way, in your opinion, would you say that it felt forced because (a) it was not believeable or (b) it was too predictable? I would say (b) but if it was not believable that is somethign that I can learn from as well.

Posted by Stalbon 14 years ago Report

It is merely my opinion in this...particular kind of interaction. The turnabout felt...forced in that it was almost unbelievable. I am very much a fan of dragons, and while I enjoy turnabout a lot in roleplay and such, in story, it can be...difficult to deal with, especially if a villain is given enough time to have a person sympathize with them, as I did in this situation...so the eventual end to Blue was...not something I dealt with terribly well. It's obvious that you are focused more on the stomachache thing, and you should focus on what you like. As for my...dislike of what happened, that is simply my opinion, and in part due to how my own mind works. As for pushing through familiar ground, I understand that, yes. I am not quite sure how much I'd read of the remaining series in that it's likely to bring up bad memories, and such things affect me physically sometimes. As I said before, though, keep up the good work. Do not take my opinion as one of a 'hater'. I read through the story because I -wanted- to see what happened...and I ended up not liking it. I would suggest though, that if you do write villains for future works (especially these fetish ones where people die horrid deaths, in essence), it should be that they have no time for readers to start liking their point of view if they are to meet a bad end. I only say so that you might avoid other readers coming forth like this.

Posted by Indighost 14 years ago Report

Thanks Stalbon. I appreciate your comment about unbelievability, and I will take that into account in the future, and provide more explanation of size differences and how the magic works, or else have pred/prey combinations that are more comparably sized. This will certainly help my writing--thank you!

I also apologize for any offense this text may have caused to those with a strong affinity for dragons. On the other hand, I do take it as a measure of the effectiveness of my technique that you were so moved by the characters and events, and I am flattered by that. And I thank you for the warning about future readers, I appreciate it and will consider it.

That said...a goal of mine, with these stories, is to engage the reader via story and characterization while at the same time utilizing the finality of vore and digestion, both as a dramatic and an erotic technique. Intertwined with this goal is the objective of impressing a sort of human (and/or furry) truth upon the reader: People who do evil things always have at least some sympathetic or pitiable qualities. For example, I found Blue to be cute, sexy, and endearing too, though she did devour hundreds of innocent people, just as good people (such as the mouse in the ante-penultimate scene) have temporarily evil urges which they may or may not act upon. I would argue that the recognition of death and loss of the good qualities of the bad people, and the guilt caused by it, are just as dramatic and erotic as the shock and shame of the suddenly cruel qualities that good people occasionally display.

To sum up, you are correct, I did give readers time to sympathize with the cute qualities of an evil character, before they were killed, and this does create drama. However, ultimately that is a risk I still want to take. At this point, I believe there needs to be more emotion, characterization, and drama in vore stories, of villians and otherwise, and I am willing to risk adverse reactions as a result of this belief.

All that said...My next story, which I have now 50% outlined, is about a woman eating quiche with her friend...so it should be relatively free of dragons, death, and psychodrama :3

Posted by Jnfly 13 years ago Report

I was reading this story and even thought I like the mouse Mariska, she was a prey I felt for, and was rooting for, (( me being a mouse squeak squeak ^^)) thought comes to my mind, and she could of handle things better from my view, for her to live would f needed her to do a few things, one was after saying all those mean things was the break down and say sorry, calling out how she was so hurt over her lost love,.... I think her Dieing was sad but an enjoyable read, I like it when I can feel for even the bad guys in a story, it was a great read and well I love mice ^^ I could say more in the open but that might start a fight with other readers

Posted by Indighost 13 years ago Report

Lol, in my view, causing drama is a good thing :) Anyway you're right, my goal was not only to have a story with vore and sexy stuff but also some emotions. Thanks for reading! :)

Posted by ElPortero 13 years ago Report

Finally got a chance to read the whole story. Damn good! Man, I'm really glad you decided to share your talent with us!

Posted by Indighost 13 years ago Report

Thanks Man :) I'm taking a "break" this month to study and work, but I'll be back in June with some more human-oriented stories.

Posted by Gone 8 years ago Report

Whew. I just...wow. I don't know what to say. The story up until now was awesome, but this was just AMAZING.

I know I'm five years too late on this, but I just fully read through the story - I have to say, this one was my favourite. Even though I knew in the back of my head that MJ and Liz would be okay, I felt that twinge in my chest while reading the emotional bits in the last chapter with MJ being so distraught, and in this chapter with so much raw emotion, worry and suspense for Liz, all mixed in with the eroticism of it all. Of course underneath all that is the really dark side - this dragon has not only eaten probably thousands of innocents, but she kidnaps and brainwashes these poor mice into pure undying loyalty. It was just so emotional and honestly I found myself enjoying it more as an actual piece of literature than an erotic story. It was amazing, yet heartwrenching. I guess it was a 'happy' ending, but poor Mariska...watches her love eaten alive and dumped out in front of her, and is so broken that she wants to do nothing but serve the one who digested him.

Sorry I went a little overboard there, and you probably won't even read this haha, but god it's amazing. I admire you so much, and hope that one day my writing can reach your level.

Posted by Indighost 8 years ago Report

♥♥♥ thank you!

Posted by Indighost 8 years ago Report

Also, moat people i know think that #7 is my best story of all so youre in for it :)

Posted by Gone 8 years ago Report

I read that one too, it was really good but personally I just liked this one better. I mean the whole thing is awesome but nnnnngh~

Posted by Indighost 8 years ago Report

well glad you enjoyed! I think there should always be some interesting drama in vore stories. and i hope it inspires your imagination :)