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With a Pie Contest at stake, Rarity comes up with a plan to help Applejack, Rainbow Dash and herself to practice for it!
This was a request from the internet. This was really hard to write for me, and I could practically feel the smoke pouring from my ears as my brain overheated trying to keep everything going. Well, this was more practice than anything with multiple characters, as that is something I rarely juggle in story telling.
Can't say I honestly like writing too many characters as noms to me are a more 1-on-1 thing, but hey, I'll try(almost) anything at least once.
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Posted by PoeticFox 8 years ago Report
Well...this was interesting to say the least ending felt rushed but the way you kept up with the characters was definately better than most ive seen
Posted by MutualTaco 8 years ago Report
Yeah, this story is more practice than anything else. I would never think of writing a story like this, so it was more of a challenge than anything.
And yeah, as you noticed, the ending kinda received the blunt end of the rush, I'll try to manage it a bit more next time.
Posted by PoeticFox 8 years ago Report
Again i r s not bad and could actually be really really good with some polishing
Posted by AthleticDashie 8 years ago Report
I like it. Nice story, Next time you do a Rainbow Dash story with Scootaloo in it. Can you make sure that after Rainbow Dash ate Scootaloo that Rainbow Dash can give Scootaloo an option of either get let out or stay in Dash's Belly?
Posted by MutualTaco 8 years ago Report
I'll think about it, I'm not very good at writing Dash's character by herself.
Posted by AthleticDashie 8 years ago Report
okay.
Posted by PegaSUS 8 years ago Report
Again, I enjoy how this stays within character of the show. Even the plot with Rainbow Dash ironically being last is in the spirit of it!
And as always, I love your descriptions with the vore scenes - what one would see and what the prey feels certainly do well for your stories. And even if going past the stomach with food sounds normally unpleasant to me, you manage to make it so natural that I overlook it. It's also nice how their bodies' intestinal tracts seem to be perfectly capable of wasting nothing except what is not intentionally meant for nutrition, haha.
I agree with the difficulty of writing about more than one character as a predator. Drawing that is a pain in itself too! You still did well for a first try! But, I also must agree with PoeticFox here; the ending did feel a bit short. I can't blame you, since making stuff with headaches just isn't the right time to be doing so. It still worked out, though! You did well in pulling through with it.
And again, fun story! It's always a treat to see what you create.
Posted by MutualTaco 8 years ago Report
Yeah, as mentioned above, I treated this request as an exercise to see how balancing multiple characters can do to my brain case. What tends to suffer the most when I overload is the ending, oddly enough. This has happened on a few stories where I'm a bit indecisive on how it'll end.
But thanks for the encouraging words either way, chief.
Posted by PegaSUS 8 years ago Report
It's alright; there's that tendency to rush near the finish with everyone, really! Endings aren't always easy, but this one wasn't half bad at all, just shorter than expected. That's pretty much it!
And no problem, 'Taco; you put a lot of effort in your stories.
Posted by donutbrittle 8 years ago Report
Gotta say, if you want to win a pie-eating contest in Ponyville, you either have to be Pinkie or eat her.
Posted by MutualTaco 8 years ago Report
Good thing she's not part of the competition(as far as they know).
Posted by matthewthawes 5 years ago Report
I like sweetie belle x rarity non fatal sweetie eats her sisger becouse shd refusess to spend time with ber now she'll spend it sauirming in sweeties belly macro-micro
Posted by matthewthawes 5 years ago Report
I hate texting