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Mary loves to visit her friend under the guise of needing a subject for her art class. Her friend had the only naga in a one hundred mile radius, seeing as they were rare and complicated pets to keep.
She may have signed up for more than she realized, however, when the naga convinces her to step inside the cage.
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This was supposed to be short but it ended up being 3300 words long. whoops,
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Posted by Apex 5 years ago Report
So I really like this. Mary's trepidation is on point and I find Aleena's subtle needling to get Mary inside her to be super sexy. For some reason, part of what makes it for me is Aleena's place as a pet that convinces someone of superior status to give into her oh so perverted desires...
If I had to change anything, some of the dialogue is a little clunky. It's formal but trying to be casual, I think, so it comes off as weird. The break in the actual unbirthing where Mary is crying and gets comforted by Aleena kind of breaks the flow a bit, too.
The ending also raises SO many questions for me. It makes me curious about the world but not necessarily in a good way. I can suspend enough disbelief to be fine with humans keeping sentient snake-women as pets. It gets a bit weird for me when I hear Rai is apparently never going to let Mary visit her snake again because she did something "bad" and everything turned out fine. Then you add the "I can just live in this cage with you and ABSOLUTELY NOTHING will go wrong" is just so, so absurd I can hardly stand it. As much as I love a fluffy, love wins ending, I can't imagine a positive reaction from Rai when Mary doesn't return from visiting her human eating snake-woman.
Okay, that actually looks like there was a lot I didn't like but I liked it, I swear! The overall scenario is just so hot I have to like it.
Posted by TheMysteriousSadSack 5 years ago Report
Love me some fluff, and this some good fluff
Posted by Nalzindar 5 years ago Report
Great story, I loved it^^ You have two nice characters there who actually are interacting in what could be considered a natural way if it had been real If overlooking the end though, having Mary suddenly "disappear" after having visited the naga begs for questions). The dynamic has a good flow and the overall story is very pleasant, and so are the characters personality. It was quite a cute and sexy story as well and I hope you will write more about those two in the future :3
Posted by The_Agent 3 years ago Report
This was cute and nobody died!