Posted by NomNexus 6 years ago Report

A nice way to end an arc. Can't wait to see what's next!

Posted by VoidInVoid 6 years ago Report

And I can't wait to show it.

Posted by Dragonknight007 5 years ago Report

Holy hell that was an incredible way to finish season 3 of your stories greci was fucking awesome a perfect way of showing our favourite goddess in just how badass and beautiful she can be i honestly cant wait to see more

Posted by VoidInVoid 5 years ago Report

Thanks for the excitement. I just started series four a few days ago, so enjoy it at your leisure.

Posted by Slayerhero90 2 years ago Report

One of my concerns throughout this reading had been that Lauren's return to deiform wouldn't feel earned, but I think she actually earned it here.

Shame about Tristi staying; her dynamic was distinct. But I guess you've realized how much overkill it was to pile on characters in AHYU and are sticking to a one new party member per arc limit at this point.

Gonna hazard a guess that this timeline remains extant even as Lauren's party returns to correct the past. It seems like a contradiction that it hasn't occurred to anyone involved to question.

I think my biggest disappointment with this arc was a matter of taste--it would have been nice if more of the destroyers had been confronted with the actuality of their misdeeds.

Posted by VoidInVoid 2 years ago Report

All right, PL down, let's tackle GEO, and I cannot restate my amazement at how fast you're getting through these while also leaving comments of this length.

This will come up eventually, but not only does Lauren know about Jesus, she's acquaintances with him.

The ghost, by the way, is Mara, and while Lauren is chiseling an escape, she's muttering about an "offscreen" conversation between her and Strea in the stomach of the Hippocampus.

I like all your predictions; let's see how they play out.

It would have been interesting, I agree. However, Hierak is the type to be confronted with that information and continue as if nothing changed, so there's not much of a benefit to having that scene; Percy, Sin, and Caria could, perhaps, be told that in their final scene; Rizo had a time limit on conversations; and Spot could be told. Thebe earning that fated consequence at the same time as learning the truth is the best place for it.

Now, I have a few questions for you, namely about characters. Firstly, Valentina. Of course, she was introduced in PL and was an important character there, but I wanted to ask you about her here, after she's gotten more characterization. Secondly, do you still feel the same way about Strea, Rita, and Melody character-wise. Thirdly, what are your thoughts on Chelsea?

Posted by Slayerhero90 2 years ago Report

That's who I was thinking was the ghost, just in terms of "people who knew Lauren and died in the Valley", because it would be really narratively questionable if it was the equine individual whose violation first activated Lauren's godmode that decided to haunt her instead, but I'm still not clear on why Mara in particular decided to haunt her? Seems like you'd pick up a lot more ghosts than just her, unless only mages tend to become ghosts.

I may have been trying and failing to sleep at the time of Lauren's jailbreak. Sleep has been kinda weird for me lately.

I like Valentina quite a bit! She had a strong introduction and a stronger reintroduction at the end of Parched Lips. I was absolutely delighted to learn she'd be coming along and that she has a cock and I maaaaaay have been even more delighted to see more of her demonic form being drawn forth... she miiiiiiiight happen to hit multiple of my neurons...... . I think it's also a fun dynamic that the Burning Plane is anthrobiologically a less voracious place than the Core, so it was really funny to see her in pronounced distress the first few times she got eaten.

The original trio of side-characters is fine; they're slow in getting development, but they're getting it. Strea making friends with Ginny was I think a real big hit for her, and it stuck out to me how long she was holding out hope for Ginny after the crash.

Melody is actually, like Valentina, a character concept that scratches a few itches, which is why it's been so disappointing to get so little from her. Love me a shark, love me a fat ass. Most I recall from this chapter though is her taking that firm stance on not teaching instant digestion due to past trauma. Her cum addiction could be fun, but it feels like a third of the scenes in the series so far which involve cocks have unfortunately had men attached to those cocks, and I kinda tend to skim over those scenes. I'm hoping the presence of Valentina changes that; she seems an excellent party synergy for Melody.

Rita... is Rita, I guess. She doesn't do much for me, since I'm not much of a fan of preds more than twice the prey's size, but I do appreciate the doting voice she's taken on.

Chelsea! Okay, so, Chelsea actually leaving the party back in AHYU was something that surprised me in a good way. Back then I was really worried I'd have to keep track of like twelve party members by the end of the arc, and it pleased me that Chelsea was allowed to have a personal arc with an earned conclusion, even though I thought her nervous demeanor was not a bad addition to a party of mostly confident people.

New Chelsea, though... she's fundamentally still a dork, which I adore, especially when she gets cowed back into her old self. On the other hand, I don't feel like she's going to make a good permanent addition to the party. Mechanically, I think she's too much more powerful than most of the rest of the party, and in terms of nature, her past deeds make Strea look like a saint. It especially struck me as bizarre that she didn't really care about the empire she built and just sorta threw it all away to whatever vacuum of power's gonna churn up her domain. I would have preferred Tristi (even though taurs don't really do it for me) or--and this might be kind of out there--Hellen if she had escaped with Lauren.

I'm relieved my comments are being received so well. I worried it'd be annoying that I was spreading them out like I was.

Posted by VoidInVoid 2 years ago Report

You're quite fine on the comments. If you do spread them out even more, I can do the roundup thing at whatever most recent part you've finished by the time I get back to the site (my job keeps me away from my computer and therefore this account most of the day).

Valentina is fun. She's probably one of my favorite characters to write for.

The party size issue is something that I had to tackle, and I came up with a few solutions for it, which will be seen later on. I'm using that phrase a lot, I've noticed.

Forgot to ask about the Siblings. So, Lauren has talked about all of them by this point, but only two have really appeared, and Bates only sort-of. Since Axy has been the one with the most appearances, what's your gauge on him?

Posted by Slayerhero90 2 years ago Report

Axy's fun. I can see how he's Lauren's closest sibling. He seems to enjoy being a god more than Lauren does, though.

Posted by Slayerhero90 2 years ago Report

List of dead people not going to the afterlife:
- Thebe

---

“I think I’m going to stay out of that form unless it’s a dire, dire emergency.”

M-hm. Sure. You do that.

---

I didn't point it out at the time 'cause I was probably sleep-deprived, but I notice on my reread how Ginny suddenly becomes Genny, and then back and forth again.

Posted by VoidInVoid 2 years ago Report

Yeah, I keep forgetting which one it is.