I love the hunting hour concept it actually has helped me get back into my own world building around a pred and prey relationship. I havent written in a very long time but I came up with a concept I just have to run with
Not really a fan of this one. Stopped reading when Yen gave her friend permission to eat Selna to shut her up. For me, there is nothing a person can ever say that can justify killing them just to silence them. Kliss had already eaten, so she didn't need to eat anyone else at this point, so the only reason is to silence the one disenter in the room.
And Yen being upset over her brother doesn't really excuse her behaviour to me because of how extreme her response was, (besides, Selma was upset too and, not being a mind reader, it's understandable that she might think Yen just didn't care about her brother based on her observable behaviour). Basically, as a method of resolving an argument, killing people who disagree with you is just dumb to me.
For me, it's more satisfying when conflicts are resolved with greater understanding. For example, maybe when Selma made that harsh accusation, instead of doubling down on anger, Yen broke down and the emotions that she held back for so long flooded through for all to see, then Selma saw how wrong she was and how totally she had misjudged Yen and both Yen and Selma could have grown from that.
As it is, and I may be mistaken because I only skimmed the end, but as it is there doesn't seem to be much character development at all. Yen seems to sort of admit that she went too far and should have been more understanding, but I don't buy it because the story seems to continue to paint Selna as the bad guy. And of course, there doesn't seem to be any definitely growth for Selna based on Terrin saying that she will never know if Selna will ever change, or if her tactlessness will be her end.
I know that I might sound harsh, and much of this is personal, and what I hate others might love. But I personally prefer to hear negative thoughts than silence when I write a story so I'm posting it. And, if nothing else, your story got an emotional reaction out of me, even if I didn't like it.
Not really. Neither Yen nor Klace seemed to respect or were friends with Selna. My point is that you don't prove someone wrong by doing exactly the kinds of things they are accusing you of doing. It sounds like Selna seemed to think that Klace could not be trusted in the last story, and she is proven right here. And, in this story, she seems to think that Yen cares so little for the lives of prey that she will sacrifice them to her predator friend at the drop of a hat, again proven true by Yen's actions in this story.
Honestly, I found Selna and her constant bickering too annoying to find her likable, but I can't deny that she had very good reason to believe what they believed. So Yen's attempt to use her predator friend to shut down the one person who would rightly criticise her just made her completely contemptable to me and impossible to relate to. So I ended up not liking anyone in the story, and likable characters (or at least one character I don't dislike) is something I need to enjoy a story.
Hmmm, yeah, I can see what you mean. Yen’s actions were definitely not meant to make her come across as a purely sympathetic character. She lost her temper and lashed out, going way further than Selna had in a moment of anger.
I still feel Kliss had more grounds to be considered sympathetic. While she was not starving at that moment, she has to constantly fight for any food she gets so would be very reluctant to pass up a free meal. And, unlike Yen, she never tries to hide this. She made it pretty clear from the start that she would eat Terrin or Selna if given the chance so wasn’t really the one violating their trust at that point.
I would also argue that I really wasn’t trying to portray Selna as a bad person in this at all, except as much as it is primarily told through the perspective of someone who dislikes her. She’s definitely got the most reasonable view out of all the characters but also just happens to be really bad at social aspects and getting people on her side.
If anyone is supposed to be the sympathetic one in the story, it’s probably Terrin though, but I can see why she isn’t a great character to relate to either. All things considered I can see that the lack of a clear sympathetic character to follow is a weak point of this story. I’m sorry you didn’t like it, but really grateful for the feedback. I’ll try to bear that in mind and hopefully avoid that problem in future.
I agree. And I didn't dislike Kliss. She was reasonable and consistent throughout. She understood why Selna would be upset and never pretended to be anything other than what she was. Unfortunately, for me the arguement between Yen and Selna was so central and took up so much time that it pulled the focus from all the other characters so it was hard for me to care about what anyone else beyond how they related to the arguement between Yen and Selna. So, although I might have liked Kliss otherwise, here she felt more like a prop, say a gun or a dangerous pet, used by Yen to ubruptly end all argument and criticism against her by threat of death.
And I appreciate you listening to my thoughts and explaining your thought process. Although this story is not for me, you are still one of the vore writers I most admire.
One good thing about your writing is that it makes me think a lot about how social situations would play out in a vore setting. Thinking more on this story, I'm curious if there will be any social consequences for Yen. It seems to me that reneging on promised sanctuary during hunting hours would be one of the most serious social taboos possible for prey folk, and Yen took that one step further by, not just turning out her guest, but also sicking her predator friend on her to ensure her digestion, rather than risk her finding sanctuary elsewhere.
Yen might get away with it if Selna was the only witness and she didn't live to tell her tale. But there were multiple surviving witnesses including Selna. After witnessing that, I can't imagine them trusting Yen ever again. Yen did it because she lost her temper with Selna, but what if, one day, she lost her temper with them? That thought has to cross their mind at some point. And, when word gets around, very few if any prey folk would want to associate with Yen. The risk to their survival would be too great, and it would seem suicidal to trust Yen the Feeder. Also, collectively, I think most prey folk would want to ostracise anyone who did what Yen did to set an example and show that there are consequences for doing this kind of thing and to discourage others from doing it and let everyone know that this behaviour is not okay.
Thanks. I’m really flattered that you like my stuff so much, even if this one was a flop for you. I can definitely see your point about Yen and Selna being the central two characters to the story and the others being a little more peripheral throughout most of it.
Also, yeah, there would definitely be a cost to becoming known for doing something like that, but Yen was fairly confident that she could get away with it. Anya was a close enough friend that she was confident she wouldn’t tell anyone, and she had mutual blackmail material to hold over Terrin after the events of the first story. She might have been a little more in danger given that Selna survived, but Selna has already proven herself willing to keep quiet about something like this if threatened by Kliss, so Yen might have gotten away with it this time. It’s definitely not something she would want to risk making a habit of though, and any future meetings between those characters are pretty much guaranteed not to take place at Yen’s house again.
Also, I really love the term Feeder for a member of the prey species who helps a predator hunt. I might have to borrow that term for future stories if you’re okay with that. I really could have used it in the previous one, in particular, instead of having everyone just calling Terrin a traitor. It really makes sense that there should be a particular term for anyone doing that instead of just a generic one.
Sure, go ahead. And, yeah, I imagine the social consequences would be pretty severe if found out, but I can imagine reasons why a prey might become one. Of course, it strengthens relationships with predator friends, and a feeder's usefulness makes the predator less likely to eat them. But I can also imagine people doing it for money as Terrin did.
Imagine a phone app that allows Feeders to auction off prey to nearby predators. A Feeder could pick up a prey in a bar or befriend a naive freshman, take a photo with them, and invite them back to their place for sex or study or whatever false pretence. Then deliver them to the house of the highest bidder (who choose their prey based on the photos and Feeders description). The great thing about this service is that deliveries can be made outside of Hunting Hours, because the homeowner (ie the customer) decides what happens to prey once inside their home.
Of course there are risks. There's always a chance that the predator will eat the Feeder. But the service would be pay in advance and predators would be rated and reviewed by verified Prey Delivery Feeders after deliveries, and the app would require a password each time it's opened. This way, predators who abuse the system can be quickly identified to reduce the risk for the Feeders (you have to review your last customer before you can make a new delivery so that the app knows you survived and doesn't unfairly blacklist good predators).
The main concern then would be the delivered prey getting away or being let go by a merciful predator or the Feeder being found out in some other way. What would thier family and friends think of them if they knew? I imagine there would be a lot of paranoia about that, probably even more than of getting eaten. But predators pay a lot of money for delivered prey and the app only takes a small cut. For that kind of money, it's worth the risk to a lot of struggling prey folk.
Just an idea that I've had for a while, but will probably never use. Thought I might as well share it with someone.
A masterpiece as always! I love the mix of casualness and low-key horror that you inject into your Hunting Hours series, and I’m glad to get a continuation of Kliss’s story :)
Excellent work! I always find the social interactions in your stories fascinating, the balance between predator and prey, and I especially enjoy Kliss interacting with the rest of them with that in mind. And the "handing off of Surran's gift" was well done. We got to see how that changed Terrin, maybe we'll get to see how Selna changes in the future.
It's an alien world where social norms and realities of life are shifted from our own. I always enjoy seeing them play out. Civility (intermixed with incivility) between predator and prey is difficult to make work, but you manage it.
Thanks. That’s actually one of my favorite parts of writing things in this setting as well, and in reading vore stories by others. The way things can switch in a moment from a civilized interaction where everyone is just talking to a vorish one where someone is probably going to die soon. Also really glad you liked the passing of Surran’s gift. In the first draft, Selna got eaten, but Arta suggested this change and it worked so much better.
Interesting. This story arc has been most curious. I quite like the predators of yours. Their perspective is harsh and jarring, but also, well, fair in it's brutal way. And though they see things in black and white, they are predators, not monsters. They end those they meet because it's that or starvation, not relishing in the perishing, which is just a means to an end. I for one would enjoy seeing more of this world, and that fine, fraught line being explored, the line between food and friend. Possibly even the points where it blurs.
Would admit, like I think some others, find more of these main characters objectionable than pleasant, but that doesn't much matter. Their responses feel quite real, maddening and foolish as real people can be, which is more important in the end.
Feel really sorry for Kliss though, that moment where glee at finally catching a meal turned to... oh no, I need to eat my friend's brother...
Thanks. I’m glad you enjoyed it, and it was a very fun theme to explore. I don’t think any of the stories I’ve done in this setting before have had predators that struggle to find enough food to survive to the extent that Kliss does. In my past stories the predators are usually getting by and could afford to pass up a meal or two without harm if they really wanted to, while Kliss feels pretty desperate. Still, I guess that fits with her being one of the smallest predators in the city.
I can see I’ll definitely have to work on making sure the characters are a little more sympathetic in future stories. Still glad you felt they came across as believable.
In the end I liked that Kliss at least felt quite sympathetic, a real struggle. It's a curious world-build though. Admittedly, like in the first angle of the sprint, there's a point where I wonder why the predators don't just... bring a music player to listen to after swallowing, if the response is so predictable and bothersome. But overall it offers some intriguing potential for, conundrums. Heh, like the bit about predators running companies of prey. Had me wondering what such an employer would do if they were hard up to a deadline and happened to catch an employee they knew would, if eaten, ensure the missing of said deadline. Stems from the curious bizarreness of this, day/night duality of relationships
Hmmmm, I really like that idea. I've had stories where the pred goes to sleep after eating to emphasize how uninterested they are in their prey's pleading, but hadn't considered one where they simply drown them out with music. It would definitely add a nice cruel touch to a story.
As for the question about employers, I guess it depends a little on how invested they were in not missing that deadline. If it would just cost the company some money and they could get away with it by claiming that it wasn't their fault yet another of their employees 'vanished' causing them to miss the deadline, then they would probably go for it.
If they had a little more at stake, such as owning the business that would be affected, then they would have to weigh that cost against the cost of a meal. It still probably doesn't look good for the prey in that situation though, as live meals are expensive while replacing an employee is usually pretty easy. Prey species are rarely given jobs that it would be difficult to find a replacement for.
If the pred actually were fond of that person, then the choice would be somewhat harder of course but, just from the money perspective it would generally be worth taking the free meal, I think.
I've had stories where the pred goes to sleep after eating to emphasize how uninterested they are in their prey's pleading, but hadn't considered one where they simply drown them out with music. It would definitely add a nice cruel touch to a story.
Oh, this is some capital-I irony right here. I'm participating in NaNoWriMo this year, and I know it isn't the right month yet but I've already started. I'm writing something extremely inspired by both your and Randomness's works. In the novel, the protagonist uses music as described here, but for the opposite ends. She's doing it to calm and distract her devoured prey. Instead of simply making her more 'human' and compassionate, it ends up making the whole scene more twisted and horrifying. Needless to say, it's probably going to be in the final draft.
It still probably doesn't look good for the prey in that situation though, as live meals are expensive while replacing an employee is usually pretty easy.
Things must work differently in this world. I cannot believe I envy anything about this complete hell, but if hiring goes that quickly and easily, I guess I have to give the devils their due. Here on HUUU-MAAAN Earth, hiring is to be quite blunt, $$expensive$$. Maybe out of necessity these folks figured out how to streamline it.
Of course, if I were my hiring manager, I wouldn't want to go meet for drinks with them to find out their secrets. That has an obvious and tragic conclusion. I would miss them...
BTW BizzareBlue <3 you and thanks for this stuff, it's emotionally devastating but it sticks to you light the flavor of saltwater taffy.
Ooooh, that sounds awesome! Having the predator trying to be nice to their catch only serve to emphasize how terrible there actions are is a very fun concept. I really like the sound of it and, if you decide to upload the story here once you are finished, I’d love to read it.
And yeah… I think given how frequently most prey species vanish that the majority of businesses in this setting have the process pretty streamlined. It probably helps that there aren’t really many worker’s rights or such in this setting, as things like health and safety are a lower concern when your employees probably won’t last that long anyway. Any forms that need filling out to state that a previous employee has stopped showing up for work are probably pretty quick to stamp though as well.
And thanks. I’m really glad you like the setting despite its horrible nature.
I relay like this story of yours and the "Hunting Hours" world that you have created. Amazing job with this and the Survivor's Sprint story. Id love to see more from these characters and this world. I really like Kliss, Stoats are the best :)
Thanks. I'm definitely planning to write more in this setting once I've finished with Pacha's Quest. I have a really bad tendency to abandon stuff if I let myself get distracted by new projects so I really need to finish Pacha's Quest before letting myself get too invested in anything new, but I do have several pages of notes for ideas and stories I have planned in that setting.
And yes! Kliss was one of my favorite characters to write throughout this.
That's great to hear! Thank you for responding! I do have one more question though, do you have any plans to open up commissions some time? I think I would be interested in that sort of stuff :)
Probably not any time soon, I’m afraid. I guess it will depend a little on how things go after I’m finished with Pacha’s Quest, but I’ve got so many other projects that Pacha's Quest has been blocking, I’m probably going to want to focus on those for a good while afterwards .
I retract my previous criticism of this story. I'm not a fan of moral arguments when it comes to vore, but looking back, it's probably part of what made this story so effective for me. The arguments are frustrating to hear, and the attitudes of most of the characters are kinda infuriating, but I kind of like that now. I don't like these characters and I like that I don't like these characters if that makes sense.
This story has stuck with me long after I read it, much longer than most, and part of that is that it made me feel so strongly about it.
Some of the things I'm bringing up have already been mentioned, so I apologize for repeating myself. First, the writing was good but reading the character's arguments was very frustrating for me. The end left me wondering why any of them were even friends.
Yen is shown capable of easily betraying those in the group and even blackmailing her friends with no remorse. She could have easily restored her protection to Selna or talked Kliss out of eating Terrin (a simple 'I'll never forgive you' or 'we won't be friends anymore' would have probably worked).
Kliss on the other hand is shown capable of threatening and eating anyone in the group (besides Yen) without hesitation. Kliss had also just eaten so what she did was completely unnecessary, she cared more about an easy meal than literally everyone else in the group. I mean, she did see how much her actions were going to hurt the others but she just didn't care.
And nothing Yen or Kliss did made me think that they wouldn't do something like this again. And yet the survivors just forgave them both without a second thought? I don't get it. It really felt like the whole group had collectively agreed from the start that Kliss had to eat Terrin, and the actions everyone took that night were just a means to that end. Even Terrin refused to delay things and give herself a chance to survive. The outcome felt intentional and painfully avoidable. Because of that, I was unable to sympathize with any of the characters, and didn't feel sorry for any of them (maybe Kalden).
I know this may all sound harsh, but I do actually really like the story. It really had me contemplating predator and prey relationships in this setting. It also made me feel some strong emotions, even if they may not have been the ones you intended to invoke. Any story that can make me think and feel something this strongly is a powerful piece of literature in my opinion. It's a story that will likely stay with me for some time.
Posted by shadowwolfgp 5 years ago Report
This was really good, especially the later half ^-^
Posted by BizzareBlue 5 years ago Report
Thanks, I’m really glad you liked it and will hopefully be doing some more with (some of) these characters again soon.
Posted by shadowwolfgp 5 years ago Report
I love the hunting hour concept it actually has helped me get back into my own world building around a pred and prey relationship. I havent written in a very long time but I came up with a concept I just have to run with
Posted by juicefox 5 years ago Report
Not really a fan of this one. Stopped reading when Yen gave her friend permission to eat Selna to shut her up. For me, there is nothing a person can ever say that can justify killing them just to silence them. Kliss had already eaten, so she didn't need to eat anyone else at this point, so the only reason is to silence the one disenter in the room.
And Yen being upset over her brother doesn't really excuse her behaviour to me because of how extreme her response was, (besides, Selma was upset too and, not being a mind reader, it's understandable that she might think Yen just didn't care about her brother based on her observable behaviour). Basically, as a method of resolving an argument, killing people who disagree with you is just dumb to me.
For me, it's more satisfying when conflicts are resolved with greater understanding. For example, maybe when Selma made that harsh accusation, instead of doubling down on anger, Yen broke down and the emotions that she held back for so long flooded through for all to see, then Selma saw how wrong she was and how totally she had misjudged Yen and both Yen and Selma could have grown from that.
As it is, and I may be mistaken because I only skimmed the end, but as it is there doesn't seem to be much character development at all. Yen seems to sort of admit that she went too far and should have been more understanding, but I don't buy it because the story seems to continue to paint Selna as the bad guy. And of course, there doesn't seem to be any definitely growth for Selna based on Terrin saying that she will never know if Selna will ever change, or if her tactlessness will be her end.
I know that I might sound harsh, and much of this is personal, and what I hate others might love. But I personally prefer to hear negative thoughts than silence when I write a story so I'm posting it. And, if nothing else, your story got an emotional reaction out of me, even if I didn't like it.
Posted by StygianSkies 5 years ago Report
>not getting off on the sense of betrayal and sheer inevitability of a pred's urges overcoming their respect for life and friendship
low test
Posted by juicefox 5 years ago Report
Not really. Neither Yen nor Klace seemed to respect or were friends with Selna. My point is that you don't prove someone wrong by doing exactly the kinds of things they are accusing you of doing. It sounds like Selna seemed to think that Klace could not be trusted in the last story, and she is proven right here. And, in this story, she seems to think that Yen cares so little for the lives of prey that she will sacrifice them to her predator friend at the drop of a hat, again proven true by Yen's actions in this story.
Honestly, I found Selna and her constant bickering too annoying to find her likable, but I can't deny that she had very good reason to believe what they believed. So Yen's attempt to use her predator friend to shut down the one person who would rightly criticise her just made her completely contemptable to me and impossible to relate to. So I ended up not liking anyone in the story, and likable characters (or at least one character I don't dislike) is something I need to enjoy a story.
Posted by StygianSkies 5 years ago Report
>not getting off on the sense of betrayal and sheer inevitability of a pred's urges overcoming their respect for life and friendship
low test
Posted by BizzareBlue 5 years ago Report
Hmmm, yeah, I can see what you mean. Yen’s actions were definitely not meant to make her come across as a purely sympathetic character. She lost her temper and lashed out, going way further than Selna had in a moment of anger.
I still feel Kliss had more grounds to be considered sympathetic. While she was not starving at that moment, she has to constantly fight for any food she gets so would be very reluctant to pass up a free meal. And, unlike Yen, she never tries to hide this. She made it pretty clear from the start that she would eat Terrin or Selna if given the chance so wasn’t really the one violating their trust at that point.
I would also argue that I really wasn’t trying to portray Selna as a bad person in this at all, except as much as it is primarily told through the perspective of someone who dislikes her. She’s definitely got the most reasonable view out of all the characters but also just happens to be really bad at social aspects and getting people on her side.
If anyone is supposed to be the sympathetic one in the story, it’s probably Terrin though, but I can see why she isn’t a great character to relate to either. All things considered I can see that the lack of a clear sympathetic character to follow is a weak point of this story. I’m sorry you didn’t like it, but really grateful for the feedback. I’ll try to bear that in mind and hopefully avoid that problem in future.
Posted by juicefox 5 years ago Report
I agree. And I didn't dislike Kliss. She was reasonable and consistent throughout. She understood why Selna would be upset and never pretended to be anything other than what she was. Unfortunately, for me the arguement between Yen and Selna was so central and took up so much time that it pulled the focus from all the other characters so it was hard for me to care about what anyone else beyond how they related to the arguement between Yen and Selna. So, although I might have liked Kliss otherwise, here she felt more like a prop, say a gun or a dangerous pet, used by Yen to ubruptly end all argument and criticism against her by threat of death.
And I appreciate you listening to my thoughts and explaining your thought process. Although this story is not for me, you are still one of the vore writers I most admire.
Posted by juicefox 5 years ago Report
One good thing about your writing is that it makes me think a lot about how social situations would play out in a vore setting. Thinking more on this story, I'm curious if there will be any social consequences for Yen. It seems to me that reneging on promised sanctuary during hunting hours would be one of the most serious social taboos possible for prey folk, and Yen took that one step further by, not just turning out her guest, but also sicking her predator friend on her to ensure her digestion, rather than risk her finding sanctuary elsewhere.
Yen might get away with it if Selna was the only witness and she didn't live to tell her tale. But there were multiple surviving witnesses including Selna. After witnessing that, I can't imagine them trusting Yen ever again. Yen did it because she lost her temper with Selna, but what if, one day, she lost her temper with them? That thought has to cross their mind at some point. And, when word gets around, very few if any prey folk would want to associate with Yen. The risk to their survival would be too great, and it would seem suicidal to trust Yen the Feeder. Also, collectively, I think most prey folk would want to ostracise anyone who did what Yen did to set an example and show that there are consequences for doing this kind of thing and to discourage others from doing it and let everyone know that this behaviour is not okay.
Posted by BizzareBlue 5 years ago Report
Thanks. I’m really flattered that you like my stuff so much, even if this one was a flop for you. I can definitely see your point about Yen and Selna being the central two characters to the story and the others being a little more peripheral throughout most of it.
Also, yeah, there would definitely be a cost to becoming known for doing something like that, but Yen was fairly confident that she could get away with it. Anya was a close enough friend that she was confident she wouldn’t tell anyone, and she had mutual blackmail material to hold over Terrin after the events of the first story. She might have been a little more in danger given that Selna survived, but Selna has already proven herself willing to keep quiet about something like this if threatened by Kliss, so Yen might have gotten away with it this time. It’s definitely not something she would want to risk making a habit of though, and any future meetings between those characters are pretty much guaranteed not to take place at Yen’s house again.
Also, I really love the term Feeder for a member of the prey species who helps a predator hunt. I might have to borrow that term for future stories if you’re okay with that. I really could have used it in the previous one, in particular, instead of having everyone just calling Terrin a traitor. It really makes sense that there should be a particular term for anyone doing that instead of just a generic one.
Posted by juicefox 5 years ago Report
Sure, go ahead. And, yeah, I imagine the social consequences would be pretty severe if found out, but I can imagine reasons why a prey might become one. Of course, it strengthens relationships with predator friends, and a feeder's usefulness makes the predator less likely to eat them. But I can also imagine people doing it for money as Terrin did.
Imagine a phone app that allows Feeders to auction off prey to nearby predators. A Feeder could pick up a prey in a bar or befriend a naive freshman, take a photo with them, and invite them back to their place for sex or study or whatever false pretence. Then deliver them to the house of the highest bidder (who choose their prey based on the photos and Feeders description). The great thing about this service is that deliveries can be made outside of Hunting Hours, because the homeowner (ie the customer) decides what happens to prey once inside their home.
Of course there are risks. There's always a chance that the predator will eat the Feeder. But the service would be pay in advance and predators would be rated and reviewed by verified Prey Delivery Feeders after deliveries, and the app would require a password each time it's opened. This way, predators who abuse the system can be quickly identified to reduce the risk for the Feeders (you have to review your last customer before you can make a new delivery so that the app knows you survived and doesn't unfairly blacklist good predators).
The main concern then would be the delivered prey getting away or being let go by a merciful predator or the Feeder being found out in some other way. What would thier family and friends think of them if they knew? I imagine there would be a lot of paranoia about that, probably even more than of getting eaten. But predators pay a lot of money for delivered prey and the app only takes a small cut. For that kind of money, it's worth the risk to a lot of struggling prey folk.
Just an idea that I've had for a while, but will probably never use. Thought I might as well share it with someone.
Posted by wolfSnack 5 years ago Report
A masterpiece as always! I love the mix of casualness and low-key horror that you inject into your Hunting Hours series, and I’m glad to get a continuation of Kliss’s story :)
Posted by BizzareBlue 5 years ago Report
Thanks you. It was a really fun project to work on, and there might be some more of Kliss coming up soon.
Posted by Kasra 5 years ago Report
Excellent work! I always find the social interactions in your stories fascinating, the balance between predator and prey, and I especially enjoy Kliss interacting with the rest of them with that in mind. And the "handing off of Surran's gift" was well done. We got to see how that changed Terrin, maybe we'll get to see how Selna changes in the future.
It's an alien world where social norms and realities of life are shifted from our own. I always enjoy seeing them play out. Civility (intermixed with incivility) between predator and prey is difficult to make work, but you manage it.
Posted by BizzareBlue 5 years ago Report
Thanks. That’s actually one of my favorite parts of writing things in this setting as well, and in reading vore stories by others. The way things can switch in a moment from a civilized interaction where everyone is just talking to a vorish one where someone is probably going to die soon. Also really glad you liked the passing of Surran’s gift. In the first draft, Selna got eaten, but Arta suggested this change and it worked so much better.
Posted by DrakeZephyr 5 years ago Report
Interesting. This story arc has been most curious. I quite like the predators of yours. Their perspective is harsh and jarring, but also, well, fair in it's brutal way. And though they see things in black and white, they are predators, not monsters. They end those they meet because it's that or starvation, not relishing in the perishing, which is just a means to an end. I for one would enjoy seeing more of this world, and that fine, fraught line being explored, the line between food and friend. Possibly even the points where it blurs.
Would admit, like I think some others, find more of these main characters objectionable than pleasant, but that doesn't much matter. Their responses feel quite real, maddening and foolish as real people can be, which is more important in the end.
Feel really sorry for Kliss though, that moment where glee at finally catching a meal turned to... oh no, I need to eat my friend's brother...
Posted by BizzareBlue 5 years ago Report
Thanks. I’m glad you enjoyed it, and it was a very fun theme to explore. I don’t think any of the stories I’ve done in this setting before have had predators that struggle to find enough food to survive to the extent that Kliss does. In my past stories the predators are usually getting by and could afford to pass up a meal or two without harm if they really wanted to, while Kliss feels pretty desperate. Still, I guess that fits with her being one of the smallest predators in the city.
I can see I’ll definitely have to work on making sure the characters are a little more sympathetic in future stories. Still glad you felt they came across as believable.
Posted by DrakeZephyr 5 years ago Report
In the end I liked that Kliss at least felt quite sympathetic, a real struggle. It's a curious world-build though. Admittedly, like in the first angle of the sprint, there's a point where I wonder why the predators don't just... bring a music player to listen to after swallowing, if the response is so predictable and bothersome. But overall it offers some intriguing potential for, conundrums. Heh, like the bit about predators running companies of prey. Had me wondering what such an employer would do if they were hard up to a deadline and happened to catch an employee they knew would, if eaten, ensure the missing of said deadline. Stems from the curious bizarreness of this, day/night duality of relationships
Posted by BizzareBlue 5 years ago Report
Hmmmm, I really like that idea. I've had stories where the pred goes to sleep after eating to emphasize how uninterested they are in their prey's pleading, but hadn't considered one where they simply drown them out with music. It would definitely add a nice cruel touch to a story.
As for the question about employers, I guess it depends a little on how invested they were in not missing that deadline. If it would just cost the company some money and they could get away with it by claiming that it wasn't their fault yet another of their employees 'vanished' causing them to miss the deadline, then they would probably go for it.
If they had a little more at stake, such as owning the business that would be affected, then they would have to weigh that cost against the cost of a meal. It still probably doesn't look good for the prey in that situation though, as live meals are expensive while replacing an employee is usually pretty easy. Prey species are rarely given jobs that it would be difficult to find a replacement for.
If the pred actually were fond of that person, then the choice would be somewhat harder of course but, just from the money perspective it would generally be worth taking the free meal, I think.
Posted by ObsidianSnake 5 years ago Report
Oh, this is some capital-I irony right here. I'm participating in NaNoWriMo this year, and I know it isn't the right month yet but I've already started. I'm writing something extremely inspired by both your and Randomness's works. In the novel, the protagonist uses music as described here, but for the opposite ends. She's doing it to calm and distract her devoured prey. Instead of simply making her more 'human' and compassionate, it ends up making the whole scene more twisted and horrifying. Needless to say, it's probably going to be in the final draft.
Things must work differently in this world. I cannot believe I envy anything about this complete hell, but if hiring goes that quickly and easily, I guess I have to give the devils their due. Here on HUUU-MAAAN Earth, hiring is to be quite blunt, $$expensive$$. Maybe out of necessity these folks figured out how to streamline it.
Of course, if I were my hiring manager, I wouldn't want to go meet for drinks with them to find out their secrets. That has an obvious and tragic conclusion. I would miss them...
BTW BizzareBlue <3 you and thanks for this stuff, it's emotionally devastating but it sticks to you light the flavor of saltwater taffy.
Posted by BizzareBlue 5 years ago Report
Ooooh, that sounds awesome! Having the predator trying to be nice to their catch only serve to emphasize how terrible there actions are is a very fun concept. I really like the sound of it and, if you decide to upload the story here once you are finished, I’d love to read it.
And yeah… I think given how frequently most prey species vanish that the majority of businesses in this setting have the process pretty streamlined. It probably helps that there aren’t really many worker’s rights or such in this setting, as things like health and safety are a lower concern when your employees probably won’t last that long anyway. Any forms that need filling out to state that a previous employee has stopped showing up for work are probably pretty quick to stamp though as well.
And thanks. I’m really glad you like the setting despite its horrible nature.
Posted by billy999 5 years ago Report
I realy enjoyed this story and love the world you have created
Posted by BizzareBlue 5 years ago Report
Thank you. Really glad you liked it and hopefully will have some more in this setting soon.
Posted by scag2807 5 years ago Report
I really loved that story
More than just the vore part, I really enjoyed reading it
Good job!
Posted by BizzareBlue 5 years ago Report
Thanks, glad you liked it.
Posted by PastelRabbit 5 years ago Report
This one was super sad. ;-;
Posted by BizzareBlue 5 years ago Report
Ah, I'm sorry about that. I'm afraid most of my stories have bittersweet endings at best and outright grim ones at worst.
Posted by Vulpini18 1 year ago Report
I relay like this story of yours and the "Hunting Hours" world that you have created. Amazing job with this and the Survivor's Sprint story. Id love to see more from these characters and this world. I really like Kliss, Stoats are the best :)
Posted by BizzareBlue 1 year ago Report
Thanks. I'm definitely planning to write more in this setting once I've finished with Pacha's Quest. I have a really bad tendency to abandon stuff if I let myself get distracted by new projects so I really need to finish Pacha's Quest before letting myself get too invested in anything new, but I do have several pages of notes for ideas and stories I have planned in that setting.
And yes! Kliss was one of my favorite characters to write throughout this.
Posted by Vulpini18 1 year ago Report
That's great to hear! Thank you for responding! I do have one more question though, do you have any plans to open up commissions some time? I think I would be interested in that sort of stuff :)
Posted by BizzareBlue 1 year ago Report
Probably not any time soon, I’m afraid. I guess it will depend a little on how things go after I’m finished with Pacha’s Quest, but I’ve got so many other projects that Pacha's Quest has been blocking, I’m probably going to want to focus on those for a good while afterwards .
Posted by Vulpini18 1 year ago Report
Thanks for letting me know, I wish you the best of luck on your future projects.
Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report
I retract my previous criticism of this story. I'm not a fan of moral arguments when it comes to vore, but looking back, it's probably part of what made this story so effective for me. The arguments are frustrating to hear, and the attitudes of most of the characters are kinda infuriating, but I kind of like that now. I don't like these characters and I like that I don't like these characters if that makes sense.
This story has stuck with me long after I read it, much longer than most, and part of that is that it made me feel so strongly about it.
Posted by heartfelthusky 3 months ago Report
Some of the things I'm bringing up have already been mentioned, so I apologize for repeating myself. First, the writing was good but reading the character's arguments was very frustrating for me. The end left me wondering why any of them were even friends.
Yen is shown capable of easily betraying those in the group and even blackmailing her friends with no remorse. She could have easily restored her protection to Selna or talked Kliss out of eating Terrin (a simple 'I'll never forgive you' or 'we won't be friends anymore' would have probably worked).
Kliss on the other hand is shown capable of threatening and eating anyone in the group (besides Yen) without hesitation. Kliss had also just eaten so what she did was completely unnecessary, she cared more about an easy meal than literally everyone else in the group. I mean, she did see how much her actions were going to hurt the others but she just didn't care.
And nothing Yen or Kliss did made me think that they wouldn't do something like this again. And yet the survivors just forgave them both without a second thought? I don't get it. It really felt like the whole group had collectively agreed from the start that Kliss had to eat Terrin, and the actions everyone took that night were just a means to that end. Even Terrin refused to delay things and give herself a chance to survive. The outcome felt intentional and painfully avoidable. Because of that, I was unable to sympathize with any of the characters, and didn't feel sorry for any of them (maybe Kalden).
I know this may all sound harsh, but I do actually really like the story. It really had me contemplating predator and prey relationships in this setting. It also made me feel some strong emotions, even if they may not have been the ones you intended to invoke. Any story that can make me think and feel something this strongly is a powerful piece of literature in my opinion. It's a story that will likely stay with me for some time.