Uploaded: 5 years ago
Views: 1,357
File size: 13.29 KiB
MIME Type: application/vnd.openxmlformats-officedocument.wordprocessingml.document
Comments: 5
Favorites: 8
Cloud skipped breakfast today.
(I would appreciate if someone were to draw this story)
Please login to post a comment.
Posted by thicceater 5 years ago Report
Ooo this is really lovely! Very nice for your first fic here <3
Posted by CloudieLover 5 years ago Report
Are your commissions free
Posted by thicceater 5 years ago Report
Nope ^^;
But i am willing to do trades! :D
Posted by RexLou 5 years ago Report
Some good ideas but this should be fleshed out more in the future. You tell us about some cool things happening but don't spend much time on them, and that leaves this feeling more like an outline than a full story. Still, these are some fun ideas. A smash tournament that turns into impromptu vore? That can be super great! This just needs some more time in the oven. Flesh out the fight, study the swallowing, devote some to digestion. If you wanna read a really good smash-themed vore fic, check out Family Matchups by lllll1337, or some of thicceater's fics. The time they spend on the postvore and the swallowing really sets those stories apart and could make your stories great too. Again, not a bad start, some super fun ideas here. There's just a lot of room for more.
Posted by brandon14 5 years ago Report
Seems short but I like it because of Daisy. Why? She my childhood waifu. Another thing is that I suggest you could make it longer and watch out for grammar mistakes. I dealt it before but try Grammarly if you have a Google account. Anyways, KEEP IT UP!