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Cloud vs Daisy By CloudieLover -- Report

Uploaded: 8 months ago

Views: 600

File size: 13.29 KiB

MIME Type: application/vnd.openxmlformats-officedocument.wordprocessingml.document

Comments: 5

Favorites: 8

Cloud skipped breakfast today.

(I would appreciate if someone were to draw this story)

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Comments
thicceater

Posted by thicceater 8 months ago Report

Ooo this is really lovely! Very nice for your first fic here <3

CloudieLover

Posted by CloudieLover 8 months ago Report

Are your commissions free

thicceater

Posted by thicceater 8 months ago Report

Nope ^^;
But i am willing to do trades! :D

RexLou

Posted by RexLou 8 months ago Report

Some good ideas but this should be fleshed out more in the future. You tell us about some cool things happening but don't spend much time on them, and that leaves this feeling more like an outline than a full story. Still, these are some fun ideas. A smash tournament that turns into impromptu vore? That can be super great! This just needs some more time in the oven. Flesh out the fight, study the swallowing, devote some to digestion. If you wanna read a really good smash-themed vore fic, check out Family Matchups by lllll1337, or some of thicceater's fics. The time they spend on the postvore and the swallowing really sets those stories apart and could make your stories great too. Again, not a bad start, some super fun ideas here. There's just a lot of room for more.

brandon14

Posted by brandon14 6 months ago Report

Seems short but I like it because of Daisy. Why? She my childhood waifu. Another thing is that I suggest you could make it longer and watch out for grammar mistakes. I dealt it before but try Grammarly if you have a Google account. Anyways, KEEP IT UP!