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Dungeons, Deviants, and Lamia Fat By Brazzel -- Report

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“62,” he mumbled, already taking off his shirt. The others watched as he stripped and stood shivering on the cold kitchen tiles. “Bullshit roll. I should have had Etherealness cast, but we didn’t even get to take initiative.”

“It’s called a surprise attack, dumbass. Now, stand still. This will only hurt a little.”

Lester picked up his character sheet and gave it one last glance over before he took a pen and slashed an X onto the paper. He tossed his figurine to Diego and his dice bag to Marco, then saluted. His friends nodded back at him.

“It’s been real, Agavant the Great,” Diego said. “You were the best sorcerer I have ever played with, and damn, did you make it far. Bullshit roll, man. Catch you on the flip side.”

“Say hi to Nimbal for us!”

Lester bit his lip, raised his arms, and waited as Ceria’s warm hands ran over the small of his back. Her breath washed over his hair, stale and intoxicating. She drew up to her full height behind him, cradling him against her chest. Her red lips parted and a strand of drool splattered onto Lester’s shoulder. He shuddered, but held firm.


This was a $30 Patreon request. You can get one of these by becoming one of those as well as discounts on commissions and early access to stories.

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Comments
ruinedhaze1920

Posted by ruinedhaze1920 5 years ago Report

Brilliant stuff, gotta love the stories of perilous RPG tabletop games with hungry dm's looking to ingest the adventurers after their character dies. Great work Brazzel.

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Brazzel

Posted by Brazzel 5 years ago Report

Thanks! It was a neat scenario.

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FutureBellyAche

Posted by FutureBellyAche 5 years ago Report

Love the concept. DM preds are always a treat.

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Brazzel

Posted by Brazzel 5 years ago Report

Didn’t know I loved them as much as I did until I got to write this.

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UnknownPerson9876

Posted by UnknownPerson9876 5 years ago Report

I just got into DnD, it seems pretty fun

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Brazzel

Posted by Brazzel 5 years ago Report

D&D is the bomb! Lots of dumb fun to be had with friends.

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FemmiK

Posted by FemmiK 5 years ago Report

Lovely story as always ^^ And the idea of a DM Pred is great!

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Brazzel

Posted by Brazzel 5 years ago Report

Thanks <3

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RyouBoy

Posted by RyouBoy 5 years ago Report

OMG I love how casual they are about it! Just a bunch of nerdy boys waging their little lives for shits and giggles, whatching friend after friend being reduced to mulch like it's no biggie!

You made me happy x)

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Brazzel

Posted by Brazzel 5 years ago Report

I like the casual pieces a lot. It’s similar to writing absurdist fiction.

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RyouBoy

Posted by RyouBoy 5 years ago Report

The combination of casual and fatal is just delightful to me. Something about characters going on about their actions as if dying was just a trifling thing makes me want to squirm. :)

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TheDarkTraveler

Posted by TheDarkTraveler 5 years ago Report

Would love to see the end. I think I know what they have planed with the bag of holding and it wont work. An adult red dragon is a bit of a week oponent for someone with access to lv 8 spells (you need an Acient one to be a threat) and the sorcerer would have had a chance with death saving throws.

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Brazzel

Posted by Brazzel 5 years ago Report

Ceria runs a bit of a homebrew and plays by the Rule of Cool. Some unfair deaths aside, she is actually an excellent DM!

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TheDarkTraveler

Posted by TheDarkTraveler 5 years ago Report

defantly the best dm from all the stories on this site

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ryanshowseason3

Posted by ryanshowseason3 5 years ago Report

"My wizard, Agavant,"
"I expend one sorcery point"

Wizards don't have sorcery points. Unless he's multiclassed?

Either way I liked it, reminds me of my d&d ones. Minus the lamia. I like rules lawyering prey boys into hot women.

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Brazzel

Posted by Brazzel 5 years ago Report

Good catch! He is multiclassed, taking two levels in sorcerer for a few of the class features and metamagic feats. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

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Bright

Posted by Bright 5 years ago Report

A really enjoyable story. I do like the voracious DM trope.

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Brazzel

Posted by Brazzel 5 years ago Report

Gods, so do I. It's the perfect amount of cheesy.

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