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Little Lamia in the Big City (REDUX) is a crowd-funded series to rewrite an old vore story I had written back in 2010 about a chubby pink naga who has to learn to live in a modern city.
This chapter was funded by NekoYuki.
If you want to contribute to this story, send at least $60 USD to http://PayPal.me/JerTheAce/. Remember to include a note in your payment that says your username and what you're paying for! Otherwise your payment won't count!
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Kira may have bitten off more than she can chew. '~' Also we're finally up to date on chapters.
Posted by Bellyl0ver 4 years ago Report
Aww, I wanted her to gurgle Silas....
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Posted by Aces 4 years ago Report
I rewrote this chapter about a dozen times before I gave up with that. I couldn't see a believable way in which Kira eats Silas and lives to brag about it. :P
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Posted by Bellyl0ver 4 years ago Report
Fair point. There’s always next time. I’m rooting for Kira to get as big as she can.
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Posted by EnderDracolich 4 years ago Report
Really nice chapter!
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Posted by PrismaticAria 4 years ago Report
“Her fate is for Mobius to decide, and he seems nice enough. If she does let her out, she'll be sure to thank him later.”
I'm assuming this is meant to say "he"?
I won't lie, I definitely lean more towards the predator side of things. This chapter disappoints me simply for that reason, and It's in no way due to how you've written it, so I find complaining to be undeserved. At the end of the day, this is your series to do with what you will, and I have little to no say in that, unless I choose to fund a chapter. But I won't hide my dissatisfaction with how this chapter turned out.
I'll preface this again, my opinion is simply that: mine. You have no reason to be apologetic or anything of the like towards me; I'm mature enough to understand and accept that. Keep being you, man, 'cause at the end of the day, I'm nowhere near half the writer you are.
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Posted by Aces 4 years ago Report
Kira will be far more predatory as things go on mind you. I just could NOT write a way out of this that didn't feel like Deus Ex bullshit or physics breaking bullshit. This was the least bullshit way I could even come up with.
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Posted by Morphy 4 years ago Report
As long as she's not digested (without another 1UP magic item, which she should *really* invest in) there's always another time. Another interlude where it's just the two of them and she gets the upper hand, or rather gets her mouth around that little snot.
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Posted by chimerathebadass 4 years ago Report
I mean Mobious would have every right to gurgle Kira given that she yknow ate his boyfriend Mark all those chapters ago
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Posted by Aces 4 years ago Report
Mark was just a roommate, not boyfriend. Probably. :P
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Posted by chimerathebadass 4 years ago Report
Oh please they clearly fooled around alot. You cant trick me! Roomates with benefits?
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Posted by ggg74 4 years ago Report
I’ve followed this whole series and it’s always bothered me how no one has a gun/taser for defense in such a hostile city. I get that for the story’s sake there really aren’t any because it would ruin the style. Like if a the start when Kira is about to be eaten she pulls out a glock and just fucks up the attacking naga. Also wouldn’t having a large pocket knife make you nom proof?
This was kinda irrelevant to this part of the story but I just had to vent a little bit so pay me know mind.
It’s a good story 10/10 needs more Kira winning.
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Posted by DetectiveJupiter 4 years ago Report
It's California man, whatcha gonna do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Posted by Aces 4 years ago Report
Funnily enough her father did offer to give her a gun in the first chapter. Kira said no. Guns scare her. The sound alone used to make her cry as a kid.
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Posted by ggg74 4 years ago Report
but what about a pocket knife that could be used to cut free. I know it sounds disgusting but it’s just the logical part of my brain screaming
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Posted by Aces 4 years ago Report
Naga guts are pretty tough. They have to be. Countless heroes have tried it and their natural prey tends to have claws.
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Posted by ggg74 4 years ago Report
Makes sense. But still find it hard that no one has come up with a way of 100% escape device or equipment. But again pay no mind to me trying to insert real world logic into a world with fucking nagas and magic everywhere in the bitch.
Now that I think about it it would make for an interesting character that has something that could cut them free and is known for it and almost feared for it by the Pred population that’s aware of them.
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Posted by Arrogancy 4 years ago Report
I have a problem with this chapter, and kind of the whole way this series is structured.
While overall the writing quality is pretty good, Kira as a protagonist suffers a lot from not developing a whole lot in seemingly almost any skills-based competence. I get that a lot of the series revolving around Kira having a prey side to her means she'll be in and out of other people's guts a lot, she seems to have developed very little in the manner of actually being able to survive in Nexus on her own. This is especially highlighted here because literally two chapters ago, Kira was edging toward outright depression specifically because she wasn't able to handle herself in Nexus and was constantly getting eaten, and the entire thrust of the party indicated that Kira couldn't get out of there by relying on other people to save her. The fact that Kira is now getting out of the party because Mobius has/will decide to save her undermines the entire setup of what seemed to be a major inflection point in her character arc.
This is exacerbated by the granular nature of the story. Kira has lived in Nexus for two weeks at this point, but we're closing in on reading about her for 100 chapters. She's about where she should be for her in-world chronology character arc, but not for the amount of time we've read about her.
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Posted by chimerathebadass 4 years ago Report
What im hearing is that its time for a timeskip?
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Posted by Aces 4 years ago Report
A timeskip is coming soon, but part of the point in Mobius's involvement was a way of saying that Kira isn't going to be immune from danger, and though she has the eating part finally down, she needs to not get carried away.
She was very frustrated with Mobius's rescue and will continue to be in the next chapter, but she has learned from all of this.
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Posted by Arrogancy 4 years ago Report
I feel like the issue could also be somewhat alleviated by having Kira learn how to be a better prey, that is Kira learning how to survive in Nexus, not just by being the largest and most dominant predator, but by being able to escape from people both before and after she has been eaten. This would allow Kira to remain fairly vulnerable as a character while also demonstrating her actually better learning how to survive in Nexus without leaning too hard on simply being a predator.
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Posted by DetectiveJupiter 4 years ago Report
Daaaannngggg, so the bitch-noodle slithers on for another day. I gotta say, I REALLY wanna see Reign get what's coming to her after these last two chapters. Whether it be by Neela or Kira's jaws, somebody ought to finish her off before the end of this story comes or else I'm going to have to take up writing fanfiction!
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Posted by Herbnerb 4 years ago Report
I would love to see Reign become extra padding on Neela's body xP
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