Archive > nervousvampire > commission/requests > commissions > heartless > dealing with traitors to the time patrol
Expand
Add to favorites | Full Size | Download
dealing with traitors to the time patrol By nervousvampire -- Report

A commission for https://aryion.com/g4/user/Heartless.

My first foray into doing a story using someone else's oc. Lilac is sent to deal with two rouge time patollers out to reshape earth's history and set themselves up as queens by defeating the dreaded king piccolo.

Lilac the saiyan belongs to https://aryion.com/g4/user/Heartless

I had fun writing the fight and tried first person writing style so let me know how it worked.

unrelated but xenoverse should use king piccolo and the db villains a bit instead of just jumping to z

Comment on dealing with traitors to the time patrol

Please login to post a comment.

Comments
doomed

Posted by doomed 4 years ago Report

This is hilarious , though I would have love if we got to see them struggle more, or get digested. But I’m guessing that wasn’t apart of the commission

nervousvampire

Posted by nervousvampire 4 years ago Report

digestion was neither asked or denied but I thought for this it would work better without.

doomed

Posted by doomed 4 years ago Report

It worked wonderfully so props to you .

doomed

Posted by doomed 4 years ago Report

It worked wonderfully so props to you .

nervousvampire

Posted by nervousvampire 4 years ago Report

there's two, but also glad it worked well

doomed

Posted by doomed 4 years ago Report

You definitely should do more stories involving other people’s OC ‘a . Heck if I wasn’t so boring , I’d ask you to use mine .

nervousvampire

Posted by nervousvampire 4 years ago Report

we I've already got a request for another OC story but this was certainly an interesting piece to work with. But I think if any one wants me to do something with their oc I'd need a ton of info so I could get the mannerisms, how they talk ect down right.

doomed

Posted by doomed 4 years ago Report

Hmm , have you considered making a highly detailed OC of yourself and a universe ? And you should require them to make a character profile for their OC .

nervousvampire

Posted by nervousvampire 4 years ago Report

oc of myself, no. universe yes and it's an ongoing series the "a day in a vore world" series.
though the idea of having people make a full profile is a good idea

doomed

Posted by doomed 4 years ago Report

I design characters for comics and mangas that my friends want to make . So I have a character profile outline if you are interested . It msy help you out

nervousvampire

Posted by nervousvampire 4 years ago Report

I've been going utterly insane because a friend of mine told me that him and a few others were going to make a manga of their own and he asked if I'd help since I was starting to create characters and species ideas, and I'm much better at it than him. But either he lied or the others bailed so it never happened but I've been thinking up scenes, characters, plots and more for believe five years with no ability to make them come to life since I lack the talent to write a genuine novel, and can't even draw a stick figure.

doomed

Posted by doomed 4 years ago Report

Dude I’m the exact same way . I already have an entire universe planned out in detail to the point that I have an entire series worth . . The only problem is that I can’t write stories at all.
ID love to create it but i suck

nervousvampire

Posted by nervousvampire 4 years ago Report

ah a kindred soul.
Honestly it's one of the reasons I started vore writing, so I could try to improve my writing, to get to the point where I could even attempt a real book. Be it novel, comic or manga. I don't care how I just want to make it now.

care to pm, I'd love to hear from someone who's gone through the same madness as me

doomed

Posted by doomed 4 years ago Report

Sure

TheMysteriousSadSack

Posted by TheMysteriousSadSack 4 years ago Report

a xenoverse story, thats pretty cool. Also funny to see the two defectors bicker at the end

nervousvampire

Posted by nervousvampire 4 years ago Report

I do enjoy a bit of comedy and stomach bickering