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Sisters of Avelorn - Chapter 3 By Narrows -- Report

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Kallo's orks descend upon the Avelorn encampment, a host of ravenous and merciless appetites and blades at their disposal. As the blood settles, we gain further insights into the Sunderskull's past and how he gained the allegiance of the first of his legions.

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PrinnyDood

Posted by PrinnyDood 4 years ago Report

Woo! Chapter 3 up! I've been looking forward to this continuation!

As expected, this was a fantastic read beginning-to-end. The formatting also seems a bit cleaner, which is nice.

The battle sequence was well-paced, easy to follow, and genuinely intense! And the kink-factor of the River Trolls and Squigs capitalizing on the routing maidens was a massive bonus for me, of course. I especially liked the implications of the trolls stuffing those sacks with unfortunate elf-ladies too – certainly they're reaping a lavish reward for their contributions.

And of course you give us another cliff-hanger: we now have Al’lia and Taldeer who's fates are currently left at least somewhat uncertain, and I'm terribly curious to see how it all plays out!

The flashback section was fascinating and illuminating too. Ramma and Kallo certainly make an odd duo, but I really like how you did their meeting and the start of their very unusual partnership. I think I'm starting to guess at the circumstances that have lead the Sunderskull to his vendetta now.

One thing I initially found odd, but dismissed as kink-enabling convenience, was in the 1st chapter how the women of the razed settlements were seemingly fed to the Rock-Drake. Yet Kallo has seemed dispassionate toward anyone not directly related to his vendetta.
But with the flashback, my pet theory is now that the Drake likes to 'relive' the catharsis of devouring its tormenter by eating similar prey. Thus sexy lady elves have become its favorite food, but sexy ladies in general are still preferred and sought out specifically.

Also: 'it would have taken at least a dozen devoured women before the sheer mass of their congealed bodies could pout out the belly of their devourer' makes me rather hope the Drake shall get to stuff its belly with wiggly elf-girls before the series concludes, but that's just me.

Regardless, this is a fantastic read and a stellar series. Really makes me tempted to try my hand at a bit of vore-heavy Warhammer-fanfiction, though I doubt I could do the setting as much justice as you have.

Okay, I've enthused to an embarrassing degree now. I think you get the gist of how I feel. xD

Narrows

Posted by Narrows 4 years ago Report

Thank you so much for the kind words! I'm glad this story has been enjoyable and your encouragement means a lot - especially coming from someone whose writing I respect as much as yours! And don't worry, the rock drake is going to have quite a full belly by the end of the final battle!

PrinnyDood

Posted by PrinnyDood 4 years ago Report

Thanks! I really appreciate that, especially coming from someone as obviously skilled as yourself.

Your writing is routinely excellent, and this series in particular really homes in on several of my favored themes, so it very much behooves me to be as encouraging as possible. :D

Nora

Posted by Nora 4 years ago Report

Wow wow wow!

I stumbled across this series totally by accident just the other day and was utterly blown away. For context, I was gifted a few Warhammer Fantasy games by a friend just last week and found myself surprisingly drawn in by the lore and colourful universe. I absolutely didn't expect to find a developing story with this quality for what seems to be a fairly overshadowed canon!

So far the battle sequence has definitely been my favorite part of everything, with Yulli's demise being so utterly pointless and ignoble as to basically go from rallying her sisters to routing them in the same breath. That sort of unspoken, casual humiliation definitely touched a few nerves I didn't know I had.

Very much looking forward to the next installment. And even as someone who reaaaally loves her high elves in the games, I'll still be rooting for the hungry baddies for this one. :P

Narrows

Posted by Narrows 4 years ago Report

Thank you very much for the kind words! The Elven Maidens are admittedly gonna have a little more of a rough go of things in future chapters, but never fear - they'll get their licks in before the baddies do....literally.

Stanku

Posted by Stanku 4 years ago Report

Still a great read after three chapters! You really excel at describing the scenery, mood and events, not to mention the vore; very skilled use of structure and vocabulary. The dialogue benefits from this as well, even if it's a little stilted at times, though honestly I kinda love that sort of thing with vore.

One thing that struck me as somewhat rough with these two latest chapters was the pacing. I've always found the temporal splitting of the narrative clunky, since you're effectively telling two stories at once, though obviously they'll be joined at some point. The first time you did that I thought was fine, but here I couldn't help feeling that the cut back didn't really bring that much new information for the reader compared to the cost of dropping off the impressive fighting scene.

I hope you take my points in the constructive spirit! Naturally there's lot of arguments and other perspectives to be raised here about the narration, and I'm sure you had your reasons, which I'd like to hear if you're willing to share. Anyway, I found the scene with the dark elf was incredibly sexy, so in that sense I wouldn't mind reading four more flashbacks like that any day...

Narrows

Posted by Narrows 4 years ago Report

Once again, I appreciate the comments and constructive criticism - a longer for vore story is a fun project but I do admittedly fall victim to 'write first, structure later' syndrome as I do.

Stanku

Posted by Stanku 4 years ago Report

Oh, tell me about it... I rarely restructure my pieces afterwards, being so lazy. And especially with multi-part stories it is harder to anticipate what a good exposition order would be.

EnglishGamer

Posted by EnglishGamer 4 years ago Report

Nice, found this story and your account bu accident and I am glad I did, you are doing amazing work.

As previous guys have said Warhammer is very underused for vore and I am happy you are adding to it.

It does make me wonder what the future holds, will there be anymore creatures? will we see Arachnarok Spider or Giants filling their bellies?, not mention there are loads of creatures the Dark Elves have that they can steal (Hydra, Bloodrack Medusa etc)

What of the final confrontation, will Alarielle win or will Kallo get his revenge, if so who is the lucky beast that dines on the Everqueen.

Cannot wait for the next chapter, hope it comes soon.

Narrows

Posted by Narrows 4 years ago Report

Thank you very much! Currently the next chapter is under way and we will indeed get another new monster for an all you can munch buffet of elven lady!