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Poll winning story from… f*cking January. Not proud at all that it took me this long to get it out, but I got it out eventually I guess. Featuring some m/f elf/catgirl vore in airport security, with a bit of slow digestion afterwards :) As usual, disposal has a little barrier for those who aren’t fans of it.
Now, with that said… Woohoo! Finally done!
I mean, it’s entirely my own fault that this took so long, but I’m gonna celebrate anyways. I never really tested it before, but I’m primarily an f/f writer. It might just be me, but looking back it feels like I write a lot slower if one of the characters involved is male… which might explain why getting this poll winner done took so long, what with it being m/f, and the m/f and f/mf comms I did in the meantime… also the fact that by the time I got back to this project, I completely lost my train of thought as to the post-ingestion scenes. There was gonna be a whole storyline with the elf he meets at the bus stop, I was gonna go more descriptive of digestion than my previous elf story… and then I spent a month working on other stuff and lost all my thoughts for that. So instead of banging my head on it and trying to get back in that particular weeks-dead mood, I wrote something simpler.
Thinking back on the poll, I definitely want to do another one at some point, but after chatting with a friend on the site… I’m gonna be making the options a lot more descriptive. The first time, I made the “poor” (really stupid) decision to keep the options one line long… which meant some of the ideas were stupidly vague, something I could’ve easily done better... well, live and learn and all that. Gonna actually properly describe things next time, whenever next time ends up being. If it’s anytime in the next few weeks, it’s probably gonna be nothing but f/f ideas, for reasons I’ll touch on in a moment…
Until then, what’s next? The second-place winner (a short halloween prey POV piece I had in my WIP folder for ages), and then some f/f stuff, because I am craving some f/f writing. A craving that… definitely didn’t delay this story at all. That story over there in my WIP folder was already a thousand words long when I started this one, as far as anyone can prove… uh, anyway, see you all again soon!
PS: I mostly proofread as I write, so I miss things sometimes… as always, let me know if you notice anything I messed up plz
PPS: Just noticed in my little logbook I keep, but with this story I've officially posted over two hundred thousand words on the site! It's a silly little thing to celebrate, but I like to celebrate silly little things :)
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Posted by Houyo 1 year ago Report
Nice, always love to see casual mixed with unwilling fatal vore, especially with M/F.
Posted by PaperWriter 1 year ago Report
Glad you liked it :)
Posted by Mechdragon1k 1 year ago Report
I wonder what triggered the detector.
Posted by PaperWriter 1 year ago Report
She swallowed a ring! Though how she did that without noticing or remembering... that's a mystery that she gets to take with her to the sewers.
Posted by Randomdude5 1 year ago Report
That made me wonder if she was a pred, and the ring hadn't passed thru her yet. That is just a speculation.
I plan to get around to writing some long feedback on this story.
Posted by Bright 1 year ago Report
Quite enjoyed the casualness of the whole encounter.
Nicely done swallowing description.
Posted by PaperWriter 1 year ago Report
Casual vore is fun :)
Glad you liked the swallowing! I try to fit the focus/details of the swallowing scenes to the pred's personality... I think this one came out well.
Posted by Randomdude5 1 year ago Report
I wanted to write a long comment on this story once I read it, but I got delayed for various reasons. I enjoyed the story more than I thought I would from just reading the description in the poll.
I like Amelie's excitement and energy. She sounds like she would be a fun girl. I also liked the detail about boys getting to enjoy watching her tail sway over her toned butt.
The metal detector beeping is a clever way to have the entire situation start. Now security needs to find out what is causing it. I like how casual and calloused Steven is about having Amelie strip. It makes the vore that comes later fit better with the feeling of the story. Since Amelie doesn't know the ring inside her bowels is what is triggering the detector, then she can't tell Steven. I wonder if Amelie even knows that she swallowed a ring. I don't know if you have a reason in the story, that you dropped hints about, or if it is just a plot device that doesn't need to be thought about any farther. Either way is fine.
I like how the story flows. Amelie doesn't want to take off her underwear, and Steven uses it for a reason to eat her. In a casual porn setting, Amelie would have taken off her underwear, and Steven would have done a cavity search with his penis, but this is a vore setting. Having Steven pin her arms and swallow her headfirst makes the most sense, since this is in a public place, Amelie is unwilling, and both of them are standing up. For example, in order for Steven to eat her feet first, they both would have to go to the ground, and that would be really awkward.
I like swallowing scene. It makes sense that Steven would have forgotten to undo his buttons on his shirt. If Amelie saw him undoing them, it might tip her off. I think that there would be predator clothes that could stretch, but Steven wasn't planning on eating anyone that day, so he wouldn't think to wear them, if he owned any. I like the detail where you mentioned that Steven had been in a pred fraternity.
I like you use the head first swallowing to have Amelie end up head first in Steven's stomach. Sure I prefer that the prey be right side up, so she doesn't drown, but that is preference. Sometimes prey can slide upright inside the stomach when being eaten headfirst, but you used your choice of having her upside down to make her drown faster, and I respect that, even tho it isn't my preference. Amelie remembers that elves have long digestion times. I am not sure if this should terrify her, or give her hope. It depends on if she thinks that she has a chance of escape, rescue, or bargaining, or if she has given up hope.
I like how you have a balance between casual vore, and fear, when other people are more compliant with security when they see Amelie in Steven's stomach. I also like how vore at the airport is so normal that they have a form to fill out for it.
I really like the meeting between Jessica and Steven. I makes me want a sequel where he eats her, especially since Jessica thought it was a little arousing that there was a girl inside Steven's stomach that is going to die. I also enjoy the details about how Steven was a voracious guy back in college. This really makes be want a prequel of a voracious adventure he had in college.
I like how calloused Steven is when responding to Amelie's requests to be let out. Assuming that she is already legally dead, then she might be his property now that she is in his stomach. Another detail that I like is how Steven mentions that her hair is probably already falling out. This should be true since she is upside down in his stomach rather than sitting upright. I appreciate little details like this. I also like how you used Steven standing up when he wakes up, as the method to drown her. Basic gravity and fluid physics, can really help add something to the story. Even tho I don't like the prey drowning in stomach acids, and prefer that she be digested alive, I like it when there is consistency of details. I also like how Steven eats breakfast the next morning because he isn't getting nutrients from Amelie yet.
I liked how you had details about Amelie digesting in Steven's stomach, and how she melted. I also like that you mentioned that Steven could have coughed up her bones, since those digest last.
The disposal scene is okay. I like disposal, since it shows what happened to the prey, and I like how you had the ring that started it all in the pile of what used to be Amelie.
The ending where Steven is promoted to designated predator is great, and how he is allowed to eat Sophia. I slightly want a sequel where he does that, but not nearly as much as something with Jessica, or a prequel with his fraternity.
Anyways this was a great story, and I really appreciate you writing it, and sharing it. Thank you.
I plan to write a review on your Halloween party vore story.........when I feel like it...................
Posted by PaperWriter 1 year ago Report
No rush on reviewing the other story, though I'm sure I'll enjoy reading that review as well. I've published stories shorter than your reviews, and I know how long even those took me.
A prequel is tempting, I don't know if/when I've written a frat before... as for Jessica, she was going to be a preyish girlfriend whose life lasted until Steven didn't get a meal at work, I just, well, like I mentioned in the author's note, lost my train of thought (and wasn't in the mood for sex scenes when I finished the story...) so I dunno what she is anymore.
I'm glad you enjoyed the realism of the digestion, if not the method :) I don't know if you contributed or not, but the little voice in my head that tells me how things would realistically happen is getting better at its job
As to the paperwork and Steven's callousness, well, he's an officer in bureaucratic America with the power to eat people. I assume he's been to soooo many trainings and such on how he can/should use his ability it's gotten to be a little more business than emotion, and I can't imagine there not being an official form for eating someone "professionally".
The swallowing and the leadup to that were fun to write, if, admittedly, not entirely my own idea... on a tangent, you mentioning a casual porn setting made me briefly tempted to try writing one... then I remembered that I like writing vore scenes a lot more than sex scenes, so maybe not.
And then, Amelie. Amelie was fun to write! Between her being cute and a bit naive, I wanted to make someone people would feel kind of bad for even as they enjoyed the story... I think that worked. As for how the ring got in her, I debated a few possible explanations for it (her phone dinging in the trash as her friend looked for it, she swallowed it drunk or on a dare or... whatever) but came to the conclusion/feeling that it wasn't really that important to the story, I guess? What mattered was that the ring was there, it caused everything, and by the time it was discovered, well, the one person that would really care was about to get flushed away. So I kinda left that bit of backstory up to imagination for people.
I hope I matched your rambles with my ramble responses... time change has me a bit zoned out, but I'm happy to see one of your reviews so I had to respond :)
Posted by Randomdude5 1 year ago Report
Don't feel pressured to write a prequel. Sure I would like one where Steven slowly digests a college girl, but in the story description, you said that you were craving some F/F stuff. Go write that :)
I think I might have had some influence on you about the realism of digestion, but I can't prove it. It doesn't have to be 100, or 0. I just like sharing my thoughts, and perspectives, and I hope that it is helpful. While I like some realism, I still say: "Realism is and optional tool that might improve a story." "If it doesn't, then don't use it."
I agree with your point about the bureaucracy. Since vore is allowed in some conditions, then they will have paperwork for it. However, I think that eating someone as sexy, and lively as Amelie would be more than just business, and be quite enjoyable.
Posted by FluffV 1 year ago Report
Really loved the slow digestion and interaction with observers in this one!
Posted by PaperWriter 1 year ago Report
Glad you enjoyed :) It was fun to try and figure out how people might react to a slow-working pred like that
Posted by FluffV 1 year ago Report
Must be a nightmare to be eaten by a slow digesting pred. But Steven didn’t seem to mind lol.
Posted by PaperWriter 1 year ago Report
I mean, if you're into being eaten, a slow digestion gives you plenty of time to enjoy yourself! If you're not... well...yeah, that would be a total nightmare scenario. For Steven, that's just... what's it's like when he eats people. I wonder what he'd think of people that digest at the "normal" rate, honestly...
Posted by FluffV 1 year ago Report
To Steven his slow digestion is a normal rate. He probably thinks everyone else just digests food too fast lol.
Posted by JithraRufure 6 months ago Report
I come back to read this pretty frequently and it’s one of my favourite stories ever especially with the contrast of the severity of the issue between the pred and prey, reaction from others, and so on
Posted by PaperWriter 6 months ago Report
...Thank you. "One of my favorite stories" isn't a label I've heard applied to one of my stories before, it means a lot to me to hear that. :)
Writing this one was definitely a different experience! I mean, normally my vore scenes have privacy/intimacy... this one felt like it went the complete opposite direction, and I'm glad that hit well with you!
Posted by FluffV 6 months ago Report
This is one of my favorites too xD I also do come back to read this one frequently just like the other person.
Posted by PaperWriter 6 months ago Report
Thank you very much!:D