Posted by Gentle_Grounds 15 years ago Report

Oh, I love the descriptions you give for an acidic environment. I was pulled into your story from the beginning. You write so well, better than I. Are you an English major or what?

Posted by French_snack 15 years ago Report

Thanks! (Though I wouldn't say I write better than you.) I studied English-language literature, amongst other things, but I've never done Creative Writing or anything like that. I've simply been making attempts at writing stories ever since I was a child. :p

Posted by Gentle_Grounds 15 years ago Report

Oh, no. No need to be modest. Your writing is so eloquent. I'm green with envy. = P

Posted by Jacquelope 15 years ago Report

Wow. This is why I say I wish I could write like you. You've got this tragic tale of two trapped people going on inside Katrika's stomach, trying to keep each other company until they run out of air. Then you have Katrika's feelings being hurt by Anna on the outside. Then you have... wow. I wish I could play with a reader's emotions like a kitten with a ball of yarn like you.. LOL! Awesomeburger. Flamebroiled with cheese!

Posted by French_snack 15 years ago Report

Thanks! I simply like to play with the idea that, while preds' actions are tragic for the prey, the preds themselves just see it as feeding, and have their own lives, issues and emotions. I thought it could be interesting to show the extent of these two interactions playing out at the same time and in the same "place" (so to speak), while being utterly unconnected. (Katrika never thinks about what her lunch may be going through, while Leri and Netch have other things to worry about than Katrika's problems and feelings.) I like to get the reader to sympathise with the prey (of course), but also in some cases with the pred (who's just getting on with her life after having lunch). I've been criticised (by one person) for failing to present readers with clear-cut "good guys" and "bad guys", but it's a deliberate choice on my part; I think it's more effective this way. It's what I find interesting to play around with, anyway. :)

Posted by Jacquelope 15 years ago Report

Well you pulled it off masterfully. I'm with Gentle Grounds on this, I'm practically smearing green on the walls here! :D

Posted by French_snack 15 years ago Report

Heh, thanks. Though neither of you have any reason to. :)

Posted by Zoekin 15 years ago Report

If I may interject-Katrika has recently had her preys experiances brought home to her. It's shaken her badly.

Posted by Zoekin 15 years ago Report

Well-I loved this story! You're a master storyteller! You captured my little girl perfectly.

Katrika-"Little?"

Figure of speech. Anyway, nice to see Katrika growing up and respecting Anna a bit more. I really enjoyed how Anna opened up to Kat and treated her like a friend. I love it when Anna shows her softer side. (As readers of my work on DA will know ;) )

Well done! Always a pleasure to read your work.

Katrika-"I like working with him too! He's tasty!"

KAT!

Katrika-"What? I lick him from time to time!"

Posted by French_snack 15 years ago Report

Thank you! I'm glad you like it. It's always a pleasure to write about Katrika, and once that scene between her and Anna developed in my mind, I really wanted to get it written down.

Katrika, I don't mind a lick now and then, but just don't swallow, please. Otherwise I might find it a bit difficult to continue writing. :p

Posted by Deleteduser_120 15 years ago Report

Much like the works from you I have so far read, this is wonderful. You've got such a way with words that draws me in on every occasion, and you described the emotions of the Nagas so well. Not only that, but your description of the highly corrosive environment within the Naga conveyed a lot of imagery too.

You should be thoroughly proud of yourself.

Posted by French_snack 15 years ago Report

Thank you very much! Credit must go to Karbo and Zoekin for creating the naga characters, though. I just took that basis, developed it into a particular situation, and added the situation with the prey in Katrika's stomach. But it was interesting to write about. :)

Posted by Deleteduser_120 15 years ago Report

Well, of course. I give credit where it's due, and all three of you deserve it.

I can imagine it was, FS :). Every story, however well or badly written, is of interest to write about in its own way. But it's particularly interesting to think about the story that way. It's almost like you've combined two separate stories the way you've done this, and you've done this very well.

Posted by French_snack 15 years ago Report

Thanks. Essentially, it is two seperate stories - but one happening inside the stomach of a character involved in the other. Two disconnected stories, yet with intimately connected characters (so to speak). Simultaneous, and in the same place, but unrelated. That's what was interesting to play around with. Anyway, I'm glad you liked it. :)

Posted by Krisexy 15 years ago Report

je taime :/...XD

dsl jsuis rendu trop fanatique de tes histoires. la ou tu réussi tres bien et ou moi jéchou cest lévolution des dialogues....comment tu fais? D: eske tu te met a la place des preys pi la tu te demande ce quils peuvent se dire et ce qui peut arriver?

en tk tes super bon :O tes comme mon héro de littérature :O continu comme sa ^^ xoxoxo

Posted by French_snack 15 years ago Report

Aw, merci! Tu vas me faire rougir! :)

Pour les dialogues... Ne te descends pas toi-même. Les tiens ne sont pas mal du tout. Oui, en partie j'essaie de me mettre à la place des personnages, en tenant compte de leur personnalité. Je commence avec une idée de la direction que prendra la conversation, des répliques clef, mais je laisse couler aussi, pour que ça soit "naturel"; beaucoup de répliques me viennent en écrivant, et du coup une partie au moins du dialogue est vraiment spontannée.

Merci en tout cas de tes remarques. Ca me fait vraiment plaisir, et j'essaierai de continuer sur ma lancée. :)

Posted by Krauser 15 years ago Report

Once again, you explore a never-before-used concept (at least, I think) and mastered it. You capture it so well! Its like you actually go to felarya to think up these stories and descriptions.... hmmmm.... :p

Posted by French_snack 15 years ago Report

Thank you! This was an interesting one to write, and I'm glad you like it!