Posted by Bright 9 years ago Report

I really like this story.
I like the concept of this game and the thrill of whether or not there's digestion or not.

Posted by IndifferentEmpath 9 years ago Report

Glad you like it. I try pretty hard to come up with new and unusual ways to write about vore.

Posted by SmaxTheDestroyer 9 years ago Report

Nice story!

Posted by IndifferentEmpath 9 years ago Report

Thank you!

Posted by ToweringValkyrie 9 years ago Report

Good length, Good pacing, all around great story!

Posted by IndifferentEmpath 9 years ago Report

Thanks for the specific feedback. Glad it's formatted in a good way.

Posted by TW 9 years ago Report

Wow, that was fantastic. Well done, good pacing. I was hooked.

Posted by IndifferentEmpath 9 years ago Report

Thank you. I'll keep that in mind in future writing.

Posted by Eater99 9 years ago Report

Very well done. I must admit, given how it turned her on, I get the feeling Allison might not come back from someone's stomach the next time she gets eaten

Posted by IndifferentEmpath 9 years ago Report

Quite possible. At the same time you have addicts like Jill and Rachel who ask for it and still make it back. And maybe next time Allison will do the eating, it is a game of chance after all!

Posted by kura1204 9 years ago Report

I would like more of this maybe with double or triple vore

Posted by MachoMan24 9 years ago Report

This is absolutly amazing. I am at a loss for words. This is the best vore story I have ever seen

Posted by IndifferentEmpath 9 years ago Report

I really appreciate that, thanks for your praise. I only hope that I can continue to impress, you've put me on quite the pedestal.

Posted by ryanshowseason3 9 years ago Report

Excellent read.

The themes of suspicion and fear while inside a stomach are great. It's a gambling mechanic but stuck inside a very friendly and willing atmosphere.

I'd love to take this concept out for a spin sometime when I have the time.

I think there's room for guys as well if they are limited to just being prey and not predators. Although I think it works easiest as a feminine friendship circle kind of thing.

You've done some great writer habits here though and thought ahead of the reader and surmised what would come of the concept. After reading I started going down that path too, thinking about all these things that catch on with youth like the "Thigh Gap Challenge". Could this turn into a thing? Perhaps little clubs form around it in like minded circles of friends. Perhaps even the older crowd catches on, like an older female book club takes it for a spin, or it get's used as a "break the ice" kind of game.

This is definitely going down in my list of prompts. Both for writing and game creation, I think it could be adapted into that format pretty nicely as well.

Posted by IndifferentEmpath 9 years ago Report

Thanks, like most of my work it didn't come up the first time I wrote it down. I spent a decent amount of time thinking about how to turn an otherwise common and tame story into something a little more gripping. I never know quite how the reception will be, but in this case it was quite popular.

I think most of my writing is like that, it starts two dimensional and somewhere along the line I try to add the element that makes it stand up. Sometimes people love it, sometimes it turns into a Jackson Pollock. Can never be sure til I throw it out here.

Feel free to use the concept, hope you have fun with it.

Posted by ShadesofBlack 9 years ago Report

I love this story, though the exclusion and stereotyping of guys made me a bit sad. I think it'd be interesting if one of the girls asked to bring her boyfriend one night, but promised everyone that he wasn't a jerk, and that he'd get the fun of the game. It would make for an added thrill if either of them got eaten, knowing that one of their friend's had the power to make them single. And it could set a precedent for including men, though I'd understand if they kept a pretty careful eye on them, and they got digested more often.

As a device for setting the all-female setting, and keeping the boys out of the story, it worked. If you simply prefer female preds, or all female, I can totally understand that. And it felt realistic, because people in real life form stereotypes like this. Good writing!

Another thought incorporating a bit of ryan's idea of "guys can come, but not be preds" would be that the girls play, and the guys get to watch, but if a girl is about to be eaten, she can offer her boyfriend instead...

Posted by DraconianTalon 2 years ago Report

never got around to commenting the first time I read this but it is still great. Kinda wish it had a sequel or even better a series.

Posted by Katana70065 1 year ago Report

I've read this one before, but reread it recently, and I must say I thoroughly enjoyed it. I will admit that I expected Allison to actually eat one of the other girls, and was delightfully surprised when she was eaten instead. I honestly would love to read a possible sequel to this one. This would also make an interesting series. I think it would be fascinating to explore Allison's life and her interactions with her new friends.