Posted by sandysoxx 9 years ago Report

Great story. I love that ending! As for the blank-slate thing, I'd make the gender known.

Posted by ryanshowseason3 9 years ago Report

Was more looking for opinions on if the gender seemed to sway one way or the other. The purpose being to let the reader insert their own gender.

Posted by sandysoxx 9 years ago Report

The gender was ambiguous throughout. Besides having a wife i guess.

Posted by ryanshowseason3 9 years ago Report

:p lesbians can have wives too!

Posted by deaddonkey 9 years ago Report

Gender was left ambiguous when I look back but I assumed male at the time, sue me I guess. Another great story from Ryan anyway!

Posted by ryanshowseason3 9 years ago Report

I completely expected people to insert there own. I just hope it flowed naturally in your head even though I didn't pin it down.

Posted by TW 9 years ago Report

Nicely done. Enjoyable, good pacing.

Posted by ryanshowseason3 9 years ago Report

Thanks, I kinda moved this one faster than I usually do, but maybe that's a better thing than waxing on and on.

Posted by ScaledWall 9 years ago Report

Glad to see more writing! This is definitely different from what your normally do.

Posted by snacklittle 9 years ago Report

A great story, I hope you make more history of this style.

Posted by mysta 9 years ago Report

This one hit the mark for me, great story! The casual dominance and consumption is so enticing - especially between just a couple of developed characters.

As for the gender, I assumed male (probably the wife thing, and the talk about the car) - I guess I'm just traditionalist then... -_-'

Posted by ryanshowseason3 9 years ago Report

Lesbians can have wives too! But yah it swung that way for me too in my head even though I tried to push that assumption away.

Posted by hamletvalley 9 years ago Report

The first person perspective didn't work too well in my opinion :3

But it was still a very fun story!

Posted by ryanshowseason3 9 years ago Report

Which parts didn't work? Just curious. It felt awkward but I'd still love to improve in using it.

Posted by hamletvalley 9 years ago Report

Switching between the prey and the pred and then to the wife just felt a bit unatural. It's hard to imagine it from the first person when you switch between three diffrent first person perspectives.

Posted by ryanshowseason3 9 years ago Report

Hmm I thought it would be enough to just separate them into contiguous sections. If I were changing it up in the middle of a scene yah that'd be pretty messed up.

Perhaps it should've just been one epilogue and gone to third person omniscient though.

Posted by curiousparty 9 years ago Report

I'd be interested in seeing a sequel where the wife gets churned up and brought home. It was a really good story ^^

PS: Love the photomanips in the story as well, it's nice knowing what the author thinks/says/invisions their characters look like.

Posted by snacklittle 9 years ago Report

this can not be a coincidence, I can not stop looking at what was his sister. http://a.disquscdn.com/uploads/mediaembed/images/3318/7909/original.jpg?w=600&h

Posted by ryanshowseason3 9 years ago Report

Fun fact the start of this story is rooted in RL, I walk my dog and an attractive woman drives by in a junker every morning.

A couple days after writing this one she now waves at me when she goes by.

But yah the model is actually quite popular you can find pics of her all over the place.

Posted by snacklittle 9 years ago Report

interesting anecdote careful not to end with his sister jejeje, and you could tell me the name of the model is for a friend ...

Posted by ryanshowseason3 9 years ago Report

Google image search is your friend.

It is Tanya Song

Posted by snacklittle 9 years ago Report

thanks, and I hope you continue with your great work. :)

Posted by SenpaiVore 9 years ago Report

Would love to see a follow up