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Edit: Don't miss the Illustration by Nalzindar: Mosasaurus Meets Bikini Girls
A simple, to-the-point tale about a dozen sexy young women in bikinis encountering a voracious, aquatic predator . . . which may or may not have been inspired by the new Jurassic Park movies.
So yeah. This was a bit of an experiment in seeing how fast I can finish a simple story concept. I'm pretty happy with how quickly this one came together, so I'm curious how well people like the final result, as compared to the ones that take me 10-20 hours to complete.
If you'd like to see more of these vignette-style shorts, please lemme know! Who knows? Maybe I'll even revive my old Vignette Theater series.
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Posted by psychoboy07 6 years ago Report
Always nice to see your writing, Prinny. I'm assuming using the mosasauras as a predator was inspired by "Jurassic World"?
Posted by PrinnyDood 6 years ago Report
Thanks! It was a bit refreshing to go back to my 'roots' with this one, and see how quick I could put something decent together.
And yes, this was 100% inspired by Jurassic World. When they showed the Mosasaurus loose in the ocean at the end of the 2nd movie, I was like "Hmmm. This demands fanfiction". xD
Posted by Nalzindar 6 years ago Report
Despite saying you wrote this fast, it is a very well-written work. The story is just as you promise it, simple and straight-to-the-point. It is also easy enough to conjure up a picture of the perilous bikini-clad women on the boat. And I am impressed by the lovely details you add when the Mosasaurus swallows the last two women and their arrival inside the cramped belly..,
it makes me hope that somebody here will make a 3D animated scene of Zara from "Jurrasic World, slipping inside the Mosasaurus' stomach.
Posted by PrinnyDood 6 years ago Report
Thank you very much! This was a really fun experiment, so I'm really glad it worked despite the brisk writing pace. I'll certainly consider doing more in this style.
Posted by VividLucidity 6 years ago Report
Simply delightful Prinnydood! I love the concept and execution! While I sometimes dislike how all the prey get eaten in your stories, it fits in this story. It feels like a monster movie, the first batch of victims to be plucked off by the unseen threat to show it's power and dominance. It's great!
I must wonder where the Mosasaurus came from however. Perhaps it swam away from the Dinosaur Island in my works? :)
Posted by Philosoraptor 6 years ago Report
Don't tell me you write stories about Dinosaur Islands yet you are not aware of the giant, girl-eating Mosasaur of the blockbuster film, "Jurassic World", and now swimming free to devour bikini clad girls in expensive boats, due to its escape from its enclosure in its sequel, "Jurassic World II: Fallen Kingdom", though only PrinnyDood knows for sure if these films helped inspire this story.
Posted by VividLucidity 6 years ago Report
Oh of course I know about the Mosasaurus in the movies! I didn't know it broke away from the enclosure in the 2nd one though. And besides, I was just making a joke of sorts. The Mosasaurus can come from wherever Prinny thinks it comes from! Jurrasic Park, a broken open undersea glacier, a trench from the bottom of the sea, who knows?
Posted by PrinnyDood 6 years ago Report
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed.
Yeah, I haven't forgotten my resolution to try and make the prey's ultimate fates slightly less predictable, but in this case I was pushing hard for concise and straightforward, so adding survivors with probably additional POV scenes went against the grain.
As mentioned below, this was largely inspired by the Jurassic World movies, though I decided to leave the actual setting and circumstances of the predator's assistance up to the reader's imagination. :D
Posted by Philosoraptor 6 years ago Report
Enjoyable, well-written little story with some great description. The Mosasaur makes for a perfect predator, being a creature that realistically swallows smaller prey creatures whole and alive, and whether intended or not, this makes a great little fanfic of what would be going on now that the Jurassic World beast escaped its enclosure and now prowling the ocean for prey. Unlike a shark, the lab-raised Mosasaur would have associated humans with food its entire life and would therefore be the most dangerous sort of predator possible. Mosasaurs are related to monitor lizards like the Komodo Dragon, which both zoo personnel and biologists state are fairly intelligent, so it might be very difficult to stop. Thanks for sharing, and think about a sequel like, "Mosasaur's Bimbo Massacre on Party Beach". (Oh, I think you meant college girls, not collage girls).
Posted by Barghest236 6 years ago Report
Collage girls are super into arts and crafts.
Posted by PrinnyDood 6 years ago Report
Thank you!
Yeah, this was most definitely inspired by the second Jurassic World movie. It just seemed like such an excellent predator for my fetish-purposes.
I dunno if I'll do a sequel, but this was fun enough I might just have to bring the Mosasaur for another bikini-clad feast sometime.
(Dammit! College vs collage always gets me!)
Posted by MichaelJackson 6 years ago Report
Been a longtime fan, you're a great writer. Though think this is my first time commenting. This was great and didn't seem rushed in the slightest. Really enjoyed it and I'd definitely be in favor of more future vignette shorts.
Really enjoyed the tentacle porn twist of the pitcher plant story as well, I'm definitely in favor of more erotica before the meal ;). I've always hoped you'd do one with digestion though
Posted by PrinnyDood 6 years ago Report
Thanks for commenting! This type of feedback really does help inspire me to write more. I may very well have to revive this style of mini-story, considering how fun and relativity easy this one was to finish.
Glad you enjoyed the tentacle-naughtiness of that other recent one, too! I certainly intend to do more in that vein from time to time as well.
Posted by Barghest236 6 years ago Report
No one writes stomach scenes quite like you — especially with multiple ladies. One would think there could only be so many ways to describe such scenes, but your descriptions are so compelling that either I don’t notice or don’t care about recycled language.
I also dig the Jaws-esque style in the beginning where the characters only get quick glimpses of the beast. A great buildup.
The only part I’m a little unsure of is the opening “teaser” paragraph. I feel like it counteracts the suspense of the creature’s arrival and initial attack.
One criticism aside, what you have is a descriptive, concise, easily-digestible and excellent little vignette. More please!
Posted by PrinnyDood 6 years ago Report
Thank you very much! I must admit a great deal of fondness for those type of cramped internal scenes.
Yeaaaah, I admit I have been trying a bit harder to 'advertise' the content of my stories, as you may have noticed in the way I do titles now, versus my earlier works. And I might have gone a bit too far in the opening paragraph here.
Posted by Barghest236 6 years ago Report
The "X Meets Y" or "A vs B" titles work well. They've got a kind of retro monster movie vibe going for them -- I can almost see the posters.
As far as advertising, I feel like I have the opposite problem. My instinct is to be as vague as possible to avoid spoilers, but that probably turns off readers who want to know what they're getting into.
The summaries you put in the description sections are a good way to do it: a single sentence that tells the premise without giving away too much detail.
Posted by PrinnyDood 6 years ago Report
Ha! Thanks, 'retro monster movie' is definitively an image I don't mind evoking!
It's actually kinda funny: I used to always get irritated with trailers that give away half the movie, but now that I'm in the position of wanting to entice people into looking at my work, I can't help but sympathize a little bit.
And yeah, when it comes to informing people about the subject matter of my stories, the tags + summaries + title are surely plenty.
Posted by French_snack 6 years ago Report
Well, this was pleasant. :)
Posted by PrinnyDood 6 years ago Report
Thanks. Sometimes I rather like this sort of straightforward simplicity. x3
Posted by longwayofftiff 6 years ago Report
Those poor girls. That's really mean. I've been on a boat party in Destin and it WAS awesome. How dare you spoil their fun! Guess next time I'll have to remember to bring the LAW rockets along with the suntan lotion and margaritas. In my story style though, we'd be partying on a heavily armored missile cruiser or stealth attack ship anyway so screw that fish. Hmm, gives me an idea. I wonder how easily you could hunt this thing. It's a big ocean. We could catch it and sell it!!
Posted by PrinnyDood 6 years ago Report
Haha, that perfectly innocent prehistoric throwback was just looking for a nice meal. Nothing to worry about. ;P
Well, with advanced space-technology, it wouldn't be much danger, but tracking it down might be tricky, since the ocean is, as you say, pretty big. If you do catch it, I suggest you sell it to Zinthrixia from Cheerleaders in Space. She could whip up a big aquarium, and feed it cheerleaders whenever she's bored!
Posted by longwayofftiff 3 years ago Report
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/video/news/video-2051076/Video-Incredible-footage-blue-whale-excreting-yellow-green.html