Posted by Xzsam 1 year ago Report

Another excellent chapter from both of you! You both have an incredible way of balancing the vore and the emotional elements of a story that's so gripping and interesting, and deviate from the canon story beats just enough to maintain an element of surprise despite the whole story being a pseudo-retelling! Well done, I eagerly (but patiently) await the next chapter!

Posted by jyoster 1 year ago Report

Thanks for the comment, really appreciate it.

Posted by Davyjones 1 year ago Report

Am loving how big Weiss is getting, her steps literally shaking the ground soon at this point.

Posted by jyoster 1 year ago Report

Hehe.

Posted by Goldendevil21 1 year ago Report

Thanks for the basic description to let us know the current events and when this takes place since the Breach.

And do thank you so much to stepping your toes into clothing. Just really enjoy reading their state of dress/undress as they pack on the pounds. Either from a big meal or just getting fat. Like the part Weiss mentions how she now has to custom order a new dress to fit her new form. Matching up that yes, she has gained weight but also showing her wealth.

Really enjoyed how even after Yang is released from the hospital, she is not mentally fully recovered. Almost immediately having a panic attack at seeing Ruby’s jiggling belly in a fight. Great character work there as we see how unbalanced the blond brawler is. How her attacks are more wild and fearful than practiced and training. Also leads to a great sexy scene of Ruby eating her. ????

Did enjoy how you made Sun Wukong and Neptune Vasilias. Did not believe in the original anime they were close friends with team RWBY. They felt too distant to the all-female squad. Here, you do a great job showing them be relevant. How Sun is also a close range fighter who gets up close with his staff/shotguns. How he shows he is caring by helping Yang train with him in close quarters combat. And even a bit of his combat intelligence where he is able to unbalance her in her rage-infused state with a simple clone. Showing that Yang has still not learned her lesson about falling for illusions/misdirection. A very straightforward lass.

And when Neptune showed up to Weiss and Blake’s training, also great job here. How Weiss is aware that they might face threats they have to eat and trusts Blake not to eat them all in their sleep (Even if she might fantasize about sharing a belly with Ruby.). How Weiss was smart and started Blake out small with Tuna to help stretch her tummy. Then upgrading to Neptune as a great first meal.

And in the same scene, great job showing Weiss practicing. Not wanting to waste the moment to eat a two person meal while also getting some valuable experience on how to walk with such a huge belly. Even if her gluttony forgot about Nepture in Blake’s stomach and the large organ stretching her neck to the limit with her necklace breaking. Just really enjoy seeing the girls train their bellies to not only eat large meals but also get slightly better and better at moving with such a big belly. Showing the characters growing.

Velvet was a nice twist to spice up the four main girls with her eating Coco and asking their residential predator Ruby who has the most experience. How Coco, despite feeling the acids building up inside Velvet, remained quite cheeky about the whole thing. Not at all pancaking even as her best friend digests her. If I did have a slight criticism of this scene, recommend you put more description of what is going on inside Velvet. Make us feel how packed and squirming the characters are inside her. Make Coco or Yang mention how heavy Penny is despite her small frame. Describe Velvet’s eyes as all rational thought has left them and is driven by base instincts. Also the girls talk far too easily as their bodies are squished together. Portray the feeling the girls need to put in extra effort to talk to each other as their chests are squeezed.

You did a good job with Penny’s character though. Talking like a robot but rather clueless when it comes to social ques. Like just walking up and putting her hands into a faunus who clearly is showing signs of wanting to eat.

Did love the way the group escapes the fate of being Velvet’s bum of Weiss using her semblance to get high then belly slam into Velvet to get her to cough up her meal. Was a great way to show just how big Weiss is that she needs to create glyphs to get up high and also her intelligence about how to exploit a predator. Really hopes this becomes a technique both the villains and heroes use where you could swallow an enemy but the enemy can land a belly hit on your large belly to cause you to cough him/her up.

The part Sun Wukong did not see them all outside Velvet’s flat belly did get annoying. First, it is obvious she did not digest them that fast. Second, they are standing right there.

Also did enjoy Yang’s description of not becoming a predator. How she sees how her entire team are preds and enjoying it, she actually has some self-restraint. Was not so long ago she was attacking her own sister in a blind rage and great to see that theme of controlling one’s own temper come back.

Posted by jyoster 1 year ago Report

Howdy, and thanks for commenting and sharing your opinions. Glad to see that you liked it so much.

Yeah, in hindsight, the negative points you mentioned could've been handled better. Probably should've emphasized the tightness of the stomach, as well as better explained why Sun failed to notice the girls during that last scene.

Thanks again for the comment, and feel free to continue sharing ideas.

Next time, we'll be going to volume 3 proper. So stay tuned.

Posted by Goldendevil21 1 year ago Report

Thanks for responding again. Makes my more detailed review feel justified.

Think I am most looking forward to how the team now has to adjust to no longer vore their opponents during the tournament. While not a rule, do not think it would reflect good on camera to see team RWBY eating the other teams. Even if only briefly. Leaving them a little pent up from not being able to devour their enemies. Or go the opposite approach and have the girls get , no so much repercussions for their gluttony but heavily discouraged from the public. This tournament is supposed to show the unity of the kingdoms, not a life or death struggle.

Do look forward to the two Schnee sisters uniting. While it has not been shown in this story, am curious what their relationship is now that Weiss is eating people alive. Am curious if Weiss recommends Winter eat Qrow to get the slouching, drunken man to go away.

Not sure how long it takes Penny to get her 'upgrades' from her farther to apply an expandable container to hold dangerous individuals is but would be funny to see Penny eat her teammate Ciel Solei when she asks for 'Alone time.' Interpreting that to mean she wants to be alone and what better place than inside her?

Fully support Ruby and others making a fool of Cinder. She was not a complex villain and seeing her be belly-bested by Ruby is always funny.

Posted by jyoster 1 year ago Report

Very good suggestions. Thanks again for the ideas, we'll have to consider what to do once we get to those parts.

Posted by Larkspurdiblock 1 year ago Report

I'm just saying, Yang going predator had better be a spectacle.

Posted by TheCyberEmpire 1 year ago Report

Just a completely random question: Have you and jyoster played a stuffing game ((With vore in it.)) called Some Bulls**t? If so, then what do you think of it? As well as the characters? <w>