(a)
67

'

"I like this food. I don't want to eat her," The snake said, and Elara's shoulders slumped in relief.


"At least there ONE sane person here. Can't believe it's the snake. Again, boss, what the fuck," Elara said, glaring daggers at her superior. Said superior simply shrugged, her movements doing wonderful things to her chest.


&q

(a)
99 (statistically improbable but okay)



“Sssure, meat, I accept,”


“Hell yeah! This is gonna be so fucking good, I’m gonna walk in there with you, and you’re gonna say something, and everyone’s mind is gonna be blown wide open, and then I’m gonna be famous, and I’m sure things will just get better from there,”

Nothing ventured, nothing gained, the snake supposed. The food was talking to herself underneath him, and he found that he could understand what she was saying. It was, to be fair, a lot of complaining.
 
 
“Goddamn piece of shit idiot, fucking sidelined me right as shit gets going? Then have the fucking gall to go and get yourself eaten fucking right after you made the decision, fucking right after. Now I'm here stuck on shit duty while you're fucking off inside of a snake belly

There was a snake. It was not an ordinary snake, but it had once been. A Megaboa, something which was shockingly common for something with such a menacing name. The snake was a male, and was ancient. Still, there were many predators far above him, and even many snakes far more ancient. Really, there was nothing particularly remarkable about this snake, and there was no earthly reason he should have been given this power, but random chance is a fickle thing, and often bestows many things at once.