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This story is about the day of a group of friends when one of the girls discovers she is a pred. I hope you will like this story and don't hesitate to give your opinion in comments or in PM to tell me what you liked or hated.
Warning: English is not my first language (although I'm getting by) so I wrote my story in my native language before I had it translated by Deepl and corrected with my knowledge.
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Posted by hernextmeal 3 years ago Report
Super hot.
Posted by Hetzering 3 years ago Report
Glad you enjoyed it and I hope you will like the next stories !
Posted by 2good2btru 3 years ago Report
Amazing, love how casual it all is.
Posted by Hetzering 3 years ago Report
Thank you! Glad to know you liked it!
Posted by Hetzering 3 years ago Report
I wonder: Would you like a filler explaining what happened in Miss Rain's office after Lily got out? ( A Jill x Rain)?
Posted by 2good2btru 3 years ago Report
That sounds nice.
Posted by ryanshowseason3 3 years ago Report
That is exactly what i felt was missing from this. How did she convince her?
Posted by Hetzering 3 years ago Report
Yeah, I didn't describe it for two reasons. First: I tried to keep the story from Lily's "point of view" so if Lily wasn't in the scene, I couldn't describe it. Second, I liked the idea of keeping the mystery as well as Lily's surprise, a kind of unexpected "death" that showed that even in this vore world, even the most resistant person gives in easily if she is a prey.
But I'm going to write the Rain X Jill meeting in the near future because I must admit that Jill became my favorite character during the writing of the story.
Posted by 20002000 3 years ago Report
I wish I had gotten back to you sooner. You really have a formula for casual vore down.
Posted by Hetzering 3 years ago Report
Don't worry about it! I hope you liked the story and don't hesitate to tell me what you liked most and what you didn't!
Posted by EloquentOrc 3 years ago Report
Love it!
I have read a few of "day at vore school" with students and teachers eating each other. And I definitely think yours is the best one yet.
It has a really good balance of giving some detail, but not too much so the story gets bogged down.
Definitely going to be looking out for more stories from you.
Posted by Hetzering 3 years ago Report
Thanks !
I hope you like the next stories and find them as good as this one !
I already have 3 different story ideas ( 1 new one and 2 small ones related to Lily and her school) and I hope you will like them !
Posted by EloquentOrc 3 years ago Report
I bet I will, they sound good :)
Posted by doomed 3 years ago Report
Not gonna lie I was rooting for jill the entire time . She was likable and relatable. In a works where all her friends were being killed in perverted ways . She stood out not wanting to be eaten. She wanted to live and had potential . And then you snuffed her out. And while I get that lily is the true protagonist,
You made Jill a great character and in my opinion the better character .
Posted by doomed 3 years ago Report
Also I love how you showed how they all felt about vore . Gut sluts we’re truly the only ones ok with it . Everyone else sort of just gives up. kinda reminds me of defeated soldiers who are being executed . They know the end is near and they try to look strong. But in the end they don’t wanna die.
Also the way you had prey give off a scent that makes preds find them tasty is unique. But if you’re going by a biological difference between preds and prey , that begs the questions: do prey have a defense mechanism. After all that’s how nature works. What’s stopping preds from eating each other ? And why don’t the students say no or fight back?or does this society view prey as inferior so they don’t really have rights?
Posted by Hetzering 3 years ago Report
Lots of good questions that I should answer as I develop my lore over the course of the stories!
For this "vore world" I try to avoid the "Why do you eat people? Because." and I try to establish a "natural" logic to it. Obviously, I haven't gone into it in depth yet (lack of time with my IRL activities) but these are questions I'm keeping aside to answer with elements I'll integrate in future stories (when they will lend themselves to the evocation of these subjects).
Posted by tastyswitch101 3 years ago Report
Really like the story, and definitely agree with what everyone else has said. If I could make one request, and I appreciate this is probably a language/translation thing, but it would be greatly appreciated if you could avoid using words like retard. It's a horrible slur against neurodivergent people like myself and I'd rather not read it in an otherwise enjoyable piece.
Posted by Hetzering 3 years ago Report
Sorry! The insult was not intentional, in my native language this word is used to describe the action of "arriving late" for example. Sorry again, I'll be careful with this kind of word that can have an identical but negative word in English for the next stories!
Posted by tastyswitch101 3 years ago Report
I really appreciate this response and totally understand how it got mixed up. Looking forward to seeing future stuff from you.
Posted by Garrysrevenge 3 years ago Report
You've certainly outdone yourself
Posted by DankMemesAndCreams 2 years ago Report
"A retard is a retard" should say "A tardy is a tardy."
It did make me laugh though. Grey is calling Penelope an idiot.
Posted by FutanariPrincess 2 years ago Report
If people die at such a young age from willing vore, then how do civilizations survive?