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Tags: Ass First Belly Bone Disposal Bones burping up clothes Casual Casual vore Digestion Disregard of Life F/F Fatal Female Prey fit prey gutslut Gym Human Implied Disposal Implied f/m Lesbian sex Oral Vore Same Size Soft Vore sports squirting tomboy prey unwilling to willing pred Willing prey written work
Hey! I'm back with a story about Jade!
"Sometimes, when you're trying to lose weight, fate tempts you with the tastiest of foods!"
Don't hesitate to give your opinion in comments or in PM to tell me what you liked or hated !
Warning: English is not my first language (although I'm getting by) so I wrote my story in my native language before I had it translated by Deepl, corrected with my knowledge and and having it proofread by the friendly https://aryion.com/g4/user/EloquentOrc
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Posted by doomed 1 year ago Report
You should probably start categorizing all your stories by setting or characters so people can read more about repeat characters even if they’re dead
Posted by Hetzering 1 year ago Report
I've already thought about it, I plan to do it when I have a bit more stories so that I can have a bit fuller folders!
Posted by PaperWriter 1 year ago Report
Poor Jade, just can't get slim again...
If only gyms had separate rooms for preds just trying to lose weight... but I guess it depends if they make more money off having preds and prey working out or on preds trying to work off their gym-going prey~
Posted by PaperWriter 1 year ago Report
Incredible work as always, love watching Jade slowly lose the battle with temptation~
Posted by Hetzering 1 year ago Report
A prey remains a customer so it's not advantageous for a gym to have its customers leave through the drains! But it's hard to control gutsluts, their only purpose is to make preds gain weight in a sense :)
Posted by feauxen 1 year ago Report
Well with the way memberships work any gutslut who just comes to melt will probably at least pay the gym for about a month longer than they used the gym, so at least some of the losses of those ‘customers’ would be recouped. It’s sort of the same as how airlines sell more tickets than than they have seats on the plane to try and make up for the fact that not everyone will follow through with their decision to fly, and it’s apparently cheaper to pay a few people extra for the inconvenience of getting bumped voluntarily from full flights than to just not sell extra tickets in the first place.
Posted by TMVore 1 year ago Report
First. It's a good story, well written. You are well ahead in writing compared to me who struggles with so many things still.
But.
It's just another story, you have stories that stand out a lot compared to others but this one for sample. It doesn't promote originality. It follows the most basic line of pred and prey meat, get busy, eat, and it's over.
Let me be clear, this story isn't in anyway bad, these are just my thoughts.
Posted by TMVore 1 year ago Report
Can I say, rereading my comment and noting that instead of "meet" I accidentally wrote "meat" might be a sign of sorts? XD
Posted by Hetzering 1 year ago Report
I understand your point of view, this story was a simple desire on my part to write a little "Slice Of Life" story around one of my MCs. There will be others from time to time between two "bigger" or "more developed" stories.
Posted by JackSpicer 1 year ago Report
"...Jade tightened her grip around the tomboy's throat, she could feel her Adam's apple bobbing under the pressure as her prey's gaze was aroused." Unless Jade is trans, this doesn't work because women don't have Adam's apples. Great story, love your work!
Posted by Hetzering 1 year ago Report
Women also have Adam's apples, they're just less developed and less visible than men's due to hormonal changes during puberty. But there's one point I didn't take into account, and that's that she's slightly higher, so Jade might not be able to feel it bobbing as strongly.