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The Big Move By juicefox -- Report

Uploaded: 1 year ago

Views: 20,616

File size: 92.40 KiB

MIME Type: application/pdf

Comments: 77

Favorites: 123

Nathan is planning to move to Bluntooth City to escape his lioness neighbour Susan Proudly, who has been hunting him relentlessly. Will the rabbit survive long enough to make the move, or will Mrs Proudly's persistance finally pay off?

(f/m, fatal, digestion, scat, cruel pred, casual vore, post vore sex)

Had to use pdf format for the footnotes. Let me know if you enjoy the footnotes or find them annoying.

Thumbnail art by TresLeches

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Comments
JustNothing

Posted by JustNothing 1 year ago Report

My Review:
"Foul Tour" and "first time" are some of my favorite stories and so I expected much. The beginning and the middle where slowly pasted and gived me much hope, but these would get flushed the toilet fast. As I was near the end and had to read the last paragraphs multiple times since I thougt there was something missing since I did not understood what happend until the literary last sentence which could be because I'm not native. The final felt was very fast foward which kinda felt wierd with the slow world building beginning. Overall I still love your writings and worlds you create and wish I could be half as good as you. It just didn't felled like the previous ones. I Still give much love to you, you Juciefox <3

Edit: with "missing" I mean the -> (wait, where did he get vored or even digested scene)

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report

That's disappointing to hear, but thankyou for your honest feedback.

HedoroMonogatari

Posted by HedoroMonogatari 1 year ago Report

Poor Susan! It's such a shame that she had her prey whisked away from her once again. While Nathan might not be in the best place, I hear it's hard to beat the Buckville sewer system, the Bluntooth airport bathroom is a good second place.

I enjoy the footnotes, personally. It's a fun little bit of world building that also allows you to have a bit more personality sprinkled in. And they can double as extra, small stories. I really appreciated the hero's end footnote at the end. While I'm not a fan of PDFs (My phone can't open them, so I have to use a computer!), I do think it's a worthwhile tradeoff.

I agree with the other person about the ending being a bit confusing. I feel like it spoils the surprise a bit and threw me for a loop when I confused the names of Sandy and Susan. That said, it was still a satisfying end. I'm in love with Hope Park so I'm happy to see it brought back, and I do "hope" that you write more so I can continue immersing myself into your setting like prey into stomachs!

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report

Oh, I hadn't thought of how similar the names were. I've been working on a few stories in this setting, and this one was not meant to be the first appearance of Taylor and Sandy, it's just the story I happened to finish first. In retrospect, the surprise would have been far more effective if people had read "The Engagement Prey" first, but that one still needs a lot more work, and I will be too busy to work on it for the foreseeable future.

Also, glad to hear you enjoyed the footnotes. I don't like pdfs either, but it was the only way to implement them.

wolfSnack

Posted by wolfSnack 1 year ago Report

(It's great to see Hope Park again, agreed! It's a delightfully degrading place~)

SarahTheCuteVixen

Posted by SarahTheCuteVixen 1 year ago Report

ah cool new Juicefox story,

kuso

Posted by kuso 1 year ago Report

i actually thought Susan would be the wife of Greg the pred in "A Very Special Christmas Present". Than i reread the other story and she was a lion though.
Still enjoyable story.

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report

She is. Susan and Sandy are different characters. I guess that didn't come across so good in the story.

Cowrie

Posted by Cowrie 1 year ago Report

I found the end confusing with how it leapt ahead, but I liked the footnotes and worldbuilding.

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report

Thanks for the honesty. I'm sad to hear that the twist didn't work for so many people. The intention was emphasise the suddenness and randomness of the vore. Most of the story is spent building up the arch nemesis, and then the hero is just casually taken out by a random stranger. The point being that, while the whole hunt is a big deal to the prey, to the preds, it's just sport and casual gratification. The prey don't matter as much to the preds as the preds matter to the prey.

Cowrie

Posted by Cowrie 1 year ago Report

Yeah, I like that vibe, the story just felt out of order.

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report

Okay, I can see that. It probably would have worked better if I had just moved that flash back in the second half forward to put everything in chronological order. I just really liked the sudden shock of the reveal. The whole "Who are these people and what do they have to do with Nathan" and then Sandy farts and it's like "Oh..."

I don't regret writing it that way, but I guess it's not as appealing to others.

scag2807

Posted by scag2807 1 year ago Report

I saw your post "Welp" but I don't know why people don't like the story, I love the story!

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report

Thankyou. It's fine if people don't like it. That's just personal preference. I just need to know if there are people out there who are into it. So thanks.

Skittles209

Posted by Skittles209 1 year ago Report

This is a good read.

wolfSnack

Posted by wolfSnack 1 year ago Report

I very much enjoyed the story, it's quite a hot premise -- and I LOVED the synesthetic way you presented the characters' sense of smell!

...but with that being said, I do have to agree with some of the previous comments that the plot was presented in a very confusing order. It's also a shame that we didn't get to actually SEE him get swallowed, and it was a little strange to have the predator only get introduced when Nathan is about to leave her colon.

Either way, though, it's great to see you posting again, and I'm looking forward to your future stories!

Indighost

Posted by Indighost 1 year ago Report

Good to see you back. I also found it confusing when the tineline jumped around, i had to reread it about 5 times.

Decent story, not much descriptive details but i like the elements of scent and world building you introduced.

alockwood1

Posted by alockwood1 1 year ago Report

Okay, parts make me want to laugh. Talk about a lot of "Oh Shit!"s happening. Lol!

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report

Thank you. That's what I was going for. I'm glad that there are a few who could enjoy that aspect.

alockwood1

Posted by alockwood1 1 year ago Report

You're welcome. To be fair, while I'm not a big fan of disposal (or Fatal vore in general, to be honest), you do have a good story here, along with a number of your other things. (I've even said hello on WdC, if you still check that out place out every now and then.)

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report

Sorry, I hardly ever go on writing.com anymore. So if you said, hi, I haven't been ignoring you, just never saw it.

alockwood1

Posted by alockwood1 1 year ago Report

Well, I reviewed your Truth or Dare item there years ago. I go by alockwood1 there, although if you look me up, you'll find me as BIG BAD WOLF (or maybe BBWOLF or some such thing) with a yellow briefcase that has a wolf howling at the moon.

TarenGe

Posted by TarenGe 1 year ago Report

I absolutely love this story and it’s quickly become a favorite of mine. I absolutely love Nathan’s use of smell as an advantage and how that same advantage combined with his past chivalrous nature led to his casual consumption by some rando pred.

One of my favorite parts had to be the monkey’s paw style wish he made on that star and how exactly it came true. I also appreciated that his utter disgust at Susan’s naked, fat, middle age body was juxtaposed by him being digested inside Sandy’s younger, thinner, fully dressed body when he saw it.

The use of named characters, both new and returning, did an excellent job with the world building and showing how Nathan had both pred and prey acquaintances which made the world feel more believable.

I also absolutely love the use of footnotes in this story and would like to use them in my writing too if you are ok with that.

I will say that I loved the surprise twist a lot as it was a very fun “Oh shit!” Moment and it seems like I was one of the few who wasn’t extremely confused by the ending. That said I do wish the twist was dragged out a bit more for tension and misleading the reader as I mention before on your ‘welp’ post and I wish we got to know Taylor and Sandy a bit more. I also wish we got to actually see Nathan get eaten from either Sandy or Nathan’s perspective. It’s such a unique circumstance Nathan had with Sandy that barely exploring it for more than a sentence felt a little bit like a wasted opportunity. (I also wouldn’t have minded seeing more Sandy in the restroom tbh because you do great disposal from the preds perspective)
With all that said I really did throughly enjoy the story and it’s twist and these are just my amateur critiques. I hope to see more of your awesome stories in hope park in the future, and I’d love to see more of Sandy in the future as she seems like a fun pred to watch! XD

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report

It is a relief to see a comment like this. I packed a lot of ideas and details in this story and it's nice to see that someone out there noticed, understood and appreciated those details.

And feel free to use footnotes, or the smell tags, or any other ideas, characters, or even the setting if you wish. I always hope that my stories can inspire people to play with these ideas and develop them further.

TarenGe

Posted by TarenGe 1 year ago Report

Of course! You have no idea how much your writing has an effect on me, just seeing your blog about the new story coming soon gave me butterflies in my stomach!
I’m gonna be rereading it over and over just to try and find all the ideas and details I might have missed from start to the end when Nathan rode the plane colon instead of coach (I’m assuming the honeymooners were flying in a nicer part of the plane than Nathan’s original ticket was supposed to be so technically he had a better seat. XD)

One thing I noticed was that when Nathan smelled Sandy’s rabbit sweater the scent tab said Greenvale, am I correct in assuming that was the former rabbit prey’s name? Also sense Sandy is so small and was mistaken for a rabbit in the dark is she a fennec? Sorry if these questions bother you or are spoilers, I just wanna absorb as much info on your world as I can because it’s completely enraptured me! XD


And I thank you for the permission to use all that stuff. I’m hoping I can write a story that suits your tastes someday and this will definitely help!

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report

Thankyou so much. It means a lot to me to hear how into it you are. Heh, colon instead of coach, that's pretty good. I'm super into vore puns.

Greenvale is the surname of the rabbit who was eaten. Members of the same family have the same general scent, and Nathan can figure out who is who by the other details he can smell like the age of the person, gender, etc. Nathan was a rabbit with a unique smell tho because he is a unique crossbread and because he is a highly desirable target for preds, so when someone smells him, they smell (Nathan) instead of just the family. ie, his smell is well known in the neighbourhood among the locals because he is the Uncatchable Rabbit. But his smell is not so familiar to Sandy because she is new to the area. And, yes, Sandy is a fennec fox in my mind.

I'm happy to answer any more questions you might have.

TarenGe

Posted by TarenGe 1 year ago Report

Heyo, it’s been a bit since you posted this story but I wanted to ask you a few more questions that just popped in my head.
1. Was Susan and her friend’s hunting of Wendy’s family done legally? As in did they raid the house devouring everyone against the law or did they do something sneaky to ensure Wendy and her kin were out during hunting hours?
2. Will we see Nathan’s sister Natalie in future stories and does she ever learn about what happened to her brother? And did she have similar enhanced senses?
3. If I remember correctly a long time ago you released a draft of a story of a kangaroo trying to get a hunting license/permit at his school and failing leading him to ask his lion stepfather for help, is there a permit system like that in the hunting hours setting? And do you still have that story draft?
4. Will past iconic characters like Sierra be making future/cameo appearances in your hunting hours setting? She seemed to be in every story in one way or another so I’m curious if something similar will pop up

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report

1. No one knows. My inclination is that she somehow did it legally, but a predator never reveals their hunting techniques.
2. Natalie does have enhanced senses too. She had a friend she wanted to set Nathan up with to help him get over his ex. She will probably hear about what happened eventually. Buckville is a small town where everyone knows everyone's business. I don't plan to write about Natalie tho. The plan is to finish the two stories I have going and then shelving the project.
3. Not the same setting, that was just an early experiment before I saw the setting created by BizarreBlue, which I feel is the quintessential vore world. In my version of this world, there are legally protected prey (having essential jobs) and prey who are not Fair Game (underage, etc). And there are also socially taboo prey (feeders, parents of underaged children) who are legal to eat but it is so frowned upon among preds that practically no one eats them.
4. Sierra is part of a different setting, same with Brenda. Susan Proudly is this setting's version of Sierra.

TarenGe

Posted by TarenGe 1 year ago Report

Well I'm glad to hear there will be more of Susan, and that she's as cunning and ruthless as she is tenacious! (and it's neat that each of your settings have a central secondary predator the plot revolves around)
And thank you for the info on your settings hunting legality, that will be very useful for writing I greatly appreciate it.
I look forward to your next two stories in this setting and any stories past that if that shelving thing doesn't mean your retiring like it sounds like it does.
Feel free to ignore this but just out of morbid curiosity as it's been nagging at me for years, was the lion stepdad going to eat his kangaroo stepson in that permit story? Your written work has a habit of lingering in my mind, even the drafts.
Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions and sharing info about your awesome vorish setting.

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report

I meant personality-wise with Susan. She won't make appearances in every story, she is just part of the setting.
Useful for writing? What do you mean?
And yeah, that was the intention with that story.

TarenGe

Posted by TarenGe 1 year ago Report

Ah, that makes sense, Susan can’t be everywhere in buckville. XD
And I apologize I didn’t mean to be so cryptic. I want to get back into writing long stories again and I wanted to use your hunting hours setting for a story so I was gathering some info on your settings predator laws. If permits were still a thing I was going to use that but now that it only seems like the time of day and reinforced hunting taboos are the mainstay laws I’ll try working with that.
One more I would like to ask is does a predator’s private property/home also follow hunting hours laws or is it “free game” for prey within the barrier? Like if a prey went into a pred’s house would they be safe till the clock strikes 9:00pm or are they in danger as soon as the front door closes?

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report

That makes me very happy to hear. But if the permit concept is more appealing to you, then you can go with that. It's always best to do what works best for the story you have in mind. We can talk more about story ideas in DMs or through discord if you like and you are willing to share.

As for private property, predation is at the discretion of the property owner or the renter who occupies the home (property owners relinquish that perogative to the renter when they enter into a rental agreement). Hunting hours do not apply here, just judgement of the afforementioned.

TarenGe

Posted by TarenGe 1 year ago Report

Thank you for the info, this will be very helpful.
And I’d absolutely love to talk story ideas with you! Once I get a couple concrete plot ideas in order I’ll absolutely dm you. XD

Mourtzouphlos

Posted by Mourtzouphlos 11 months ago Report

What story was that? I don't remember anything like that, and it sounds like the sort of thing I'd like a lot.

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 11 months ago Report

I have taken it down a while ago. It was an early experiment in world building, not a complete story.

Mourtzouphlos

Posted by Mourtzouphlos 1 year ago Report

This pretty much sums up my reaction as well! I really liked the way you kept dropping details about the world, and the way you write so ... efficiently maybe? You're very good at conveying a lot of meaning in not a lot of length. It's only four pages long, but it feels significantly longer. I'll admit that you hadn't really been on my radar before this, but that is definitely not the case anymore. I'm really looking forward to whatever you decide to do next!

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report

Thanks! I try to put as much detail into my writing as possible. And don't worry. My work has always had a handful of fans, but the kinds of stories I enjoy don't seem to have wide appeal. Always glad to have another person who enjoys my work.

Mourtzouphlos

Posted by Mourtzouphlos 1 year ago Report

Have you checked out ObsidianSnake? This reminds me a lot of his main series, so I suspect you might like it. (I warn you though - it will hit you right in the emotions and stay there. I'm still afraid to find out what'll happen if I read his two long works)

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report

I'm not a fan of reformation in vore so their work doesn't appeal to me unfortunately. BizzareBlue however, is a huge inspiration, (obviously seeing as I'm using their setting).

Mourtzouphlos

Posted by Mourtzouphlos 1 year ago Report

Not all of them have reformation. There's a whole timeline, and the invention of reformation technology is a major point in it. Plus, the way it's used amplifies things rather than diminishing them.

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report

Most of their stories seem to contain reformation, which ruins the appeal of vore for me. Maybe you can recommend a story from them in which reformation doesn't exist.

Mourtzouphlos

Posted by Mourtzouphlos 1 year ago Report

They're all tagged with either Fatal or Reformation/Implied Reformation, so you should be able to check which one applies. If you want one to start with, might I suggest Our Tears In Daylight? It's the one that really goes in on the whole hunting theme (most of the others are more based around a systemic power dynamics theme). If you want another one, they've all got pretty good descriptions of their contents, so you can check there.

TresLeches

Posted by TresLeches 1 year ago Report

I swear I said so to you once before, but some day soon I wanna do a picture specifically for one of your stories ♥

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report

That would be nice, but I won't hold you to it. Hope you liked the story, it's not for everyone it seems.

TresLeches

Posted by TresLeches 1 year ago Report

I adore it, and I got my fingers crossed that it's the first in more to come~ ♪

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report

And I adore your artwork. I think I've already told you that you are one of my favourite vore artists. As for the stories, yeah, but it might be a long wait. I have two halfway finished and I was hoping to get one more out before I got too busy, but I think I have to rethink some things after the reception of this one. Maybe will get back to it during the christmas break.

But since you let me use your art in thumbnail, I'll give you a teaser in PM's

Muttsmutt

Posted by Muttsmutt 1 year ago Report

Its like one of those genie wishes where you gotta word them veryyy carefully

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report

Pretty much. Very fortunate coincidence that Sandy was able to give him a lift all the way to Bluntooth.

tqueensway

Posted by tqueensway 1 year ago Report

the monkey's paw curls as I wish for Muttsmutt to write something that hits in the way A Deadly Desire did a decade back *pleading*

Muttsmutt

Posted by Muttsmutt 1 year ago Report

I’d wish just to have the attention span to finish any story these days tbh >.<;;

SenpaiVore

Posted by SenpaiVore 1 year ago Report

It's exciting to see another story from you. The story itself is a breath of fresh air (or lioness breath as it were). The internal struggle that Nathan endures and that wicked monkeypaw-esque sense of humor fat has for him makes for quite the ending. The other things I like are the little sprinkles of worldbuilding in the footnotes to catch up on terminology that will become common in your story.

I see a bit of confusion in other comments when it comes to the story progression and I think it's more to do with the tags rather than the story itself. For example most of the vore mentioned is second hand and not actually taking place. That's totally fine, but I feel adding an "Implied Vore" tag would give people a better idea going in. Same goes for the "Implied digestion" which honestly I need to do more in my work.

Otherwise, a really excellent read and I'm excited for more. Keep up the good work.

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report

Thanks, I appreciate it. And yeah, perhaps. But subversion of expectations was my goal in this story. It's very hard to surprise people in a vore story, so I didn't want to give the game away in the tags.

tqueensway

Posted by tqueensway 1 year ago Report

half Pulp Fiction, half House of Leaves, truly this is Art™

thanks I came

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Grapefruitvenison

Posted by Grapefruitvenison 1 year ago Report

This was great! I'm a big fan of your stuff, so it's great seeing another story from you. I'm no good at writing, so I can't really analyze my thoughts on your work, but I liked it and I think it holds up to your other stories. I'm just glad you seem to be getting back into writing because I love your stuff.

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report

Thanks, I appreciate the kind words.

Mawlexander

Posted by Mawlexander 1 year ago Report

Another awesome story in this setting, great job! You're really good at developing these prey characters only to unceremoniously kill them off in casually cruel ways. The way you build up Nathan and Susan's conflict, only to have Sandy randomly come in out of nowhere and reveal Nathan's fate with a pun and a fart. Also the way Nathan's sense of smell and his wish working in a monkey's paw way betray him to end up as a bowel movement are great.
The little world building notes are great too, awesome addition. It's great how Susan and Greg come back from the previous story, but there is no mention of Billy at all. That and Nathan's fate really show how little the lives of prey matter in this world. Awesome to see Hope Park again, it's such a delightfully cruel place. Nathan put so much effort into surviving and not ending up as another pile of shit there. I guess his effort paid off, he ended up being a pile of shit in the airport sewage system instead...at least he made it to his destination! Sucks on the not surviving part but what can you do...
But yeah, awesome story, great job!

Mourtzouphlos

Posted by Mourtzouphlos 1 year ago Report

I didn't even notice they were the same characters. I could've sworn they weren't, but then I checked, and no, they were (it looks like it's been a decade or two since the last story, which is probably why I didn't notice). On a related note, when did the park start being used as a midden? Nathan implies that he can remember when it wasn't (he says it's 'become' a toilet, not 'is') but the previous story still features a disposal there, which seems to place it a bit earlier than I would expect.

Mawlexander

Posted by Mawlexander 1 year ago Report

I interpreted the line of stating that Hope Park had become a toilet in this story as everyone knowing that at some point it was just a normal park, so even if Nathan didn't personally remember it, it's just a fact he knows, so it being decade or two after the first story could still work. Billy was the one who had vivid memories of park when it was normal, so I guess some time between him being a kid and his death in Greg's stomach, preds started to drop their prey off in Hope Park for whatever reason and now that's all it's used for. It's kind of amusing that both prey characters we have followed didn't end up being dumped in Hope Park though they both ended up as bowel movements.

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report

It's a central location, so prey often have to cut through the park whether they like it or not. And its a popular meeting place and hangout for predators. They can admire each other's work and talk strategy and technique without having to worry about being polite to prey. Just a place where preds can be preds, which I hope to gett across in future stories.

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report

It's been a few years canonically since the last story but much no where near a decade. And Hope Park has been used in this way for maybe a decade now. Nathan remembers going to Hope Park as a kid and it was not nearly as bad as it is currently, though it may have still gone on. High capacity toilets are luxuries that few preds have.

Mawlexander

Posted by Mawlexander 1 year ago Report

Ahhh, got ya, makes sense. It's a really fun location for stories to take place in and around

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report

Maybe I'll give you a cameo if you like. Your character is a cute pred boy and I like your attitude.

Mourtzouphlos

Posted by Mourtzouphlos 1 year ago Report

To be fair, the only relative yardstick I had to measure off of was a pair of offhand references to Craig (in the last one he was implied to be a child, in this one he was implied to be Nathan's age) that weren't anything more than flourishes. Also, if most preds can't use the toilet, what do they do with it? Do they go in the open normally, or is that just a Hope Park thing? Is there some poor guy (probably a prey) whose job it is to go round to preds' houses and pick up literal buckets of shit for disposal?

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report

Hmmmm, very observant. Maybe it was a decade between. Here, I imagine Nathan to be in his early twenties, so maybe he's remembering how it was when he was a young child when it was not so much of a problem. As for what preds generally do outside of Hope Park, I imagine they just use public bathrooms. But public bathrooms would get clogged up pretty quick and so some preds just went "fuck it" and just did it in the bushes.

Mourtzouphlos

Posted by Mourtzouphlos 1 year ago Report

Well, I didn't notice until I went actively looking (I only remembered the two daughters from the last one, so I was sure it was a different Susan), and then figured that 'It's been a bit since then and Craig's grown up' (I figured he was Nathan's age, which did indeed feel early twenties) was more likely than 'It's a different Susan with a son named Craig'.

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report

Your appreciation of this story means a lot. Not everyone was into what I was going for or I I chose to tell this story. And Nathan will probably be mentioned in the future. It's quite a feat to turn The Uncatchable Rabbit into the Unflushable Turd. Preds will admire Sandy's skill, and prey who looked up to Nathan will despair that even Nathan who seemed invincible suffers the same fate as most prey.

Mawlexander

Posted by Mawlexander 1 year ago Report

No problem, these are very well done stories! Looking forward to whatever you come up with next! I think it's a really effective way to write vore stories, to really build up and perhaps make you care for the prey, then randomly kill them off like they don't matter.
And yeah, makes sense that Nathan's death would have more impact than Billy's, who in the end was just another random bit of food, even if his family and girlfriend think otherwise. Nathan's new status as the Unflushable Turd will embolden preds to think ANY prey can be caught, and will demoralize prey to realize that ALL of them could be a pred's dump at any moment. I bet Susan will be upset once the news reaches her ears and she realizes she missed her chance to be the one to catch him. The turd that got away lol

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report

Susan is not as upset as you might think. She bumped into Sandy that night and let's just say that she got some closure on the way home. And yeah. Prey aspire to be like Nathan, because if he can do it, so can they, and then they find out that the person they want to be like is poop.

Mourtzouphlos

Posted by Mourtzouphlos 1 year ago Report

Wait, did she not tell Sandy who he was and what was going on? Because it didn't sound like they were aware that Nathan was anything other than a normal prey, or was that just the whole casual/callous treatment of predation thing?

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report

Was just alluding to stuff that I'm planning to put in another story. Don't worry about it for now.

HungryLion812

Posted by HungryLion812 1 year ago Report

I'll admit the ending did throw me for a loop, but after reading sooo many stories on this site it's always nice to find a twist ending. To me some of the best vore stories have twists. It could use a little tweaking, sure, but overall I really enjoyed it.
That being said, for clarity's sake, when did Nathan unwittingly feed himself to Sandy? Was it the night before the flight? Or was it at the airport? I'm not quite sure where or when that took place.

juicefox

Posted by juicefox 1 year ago Report

In my mind, it's the very same night, but it doesn't really matter the day.

HungryLion812

Posted by HungryLion812 1 year ago Report

Okay, yeah I reread it not long after I posted this and I got a better understanding of it. I considered deleting the comment, but I figured I’d wait and see what you had to say.