Fabhar - 15 years ago

Luckiest man in the Universe...

KavenBach - 15 years ago

Heh heh heh. Ian was very much just a rider on this particular part of his journeys. ^_^

Gentle_Grounds - 15 years ago

This was an interesting read, it gave me some ideas for some of the fairy tale vore I'm working on now for a fan.

Indighost - 13 years ago

Not a bad story. I felt a little confused by the various sci-fi concepts, and the short paragraphs were distracting, but the sex scenes were undeniably sexy.

Fabhar - 15 years ago

Ah, Ian, you have no idea how much I would want to take your place right now...

Fabhar - 15 years ago

This...is...amazing. Truely a masterpiece. You are a truely amazing writer, and I hope you continue The Many Journeys of Ian Scranton for a long time. Good job!

French_snack - 15 years ago

Another very well-written and thoroughly appealing story. The setting and characters are imaginative, the vore descriptions are really good... and you're actually helping me see that unbirth can be enjoyable, too. :p

4ofSwords - 15 years ago

Man, just as I finally finish the first chapter and think I've gotten caught up, you post chapter 2! I like quite a bit about this - the ballsy, unmitigated sex/vore/porn, the ecosystem designed to facilitate it, the magic that makes macro/micro situation natural!

There were three general things that struck me about the writing that could suffer a bit of improvement, but as this is the spot for favoriting and saying, "Nice job!" and not critiquing like the EPWG, just PM me if you want my opinions and don't worry about it if you don't! :D

And, "Nice job!"

Sarus - 16 years ago

Awesome story!
Smooth style, and I always had a thing for fairies as preds.
Loved it! :P

French_snack - 16 years ago

Excellent story. Their hunting tactics are indeed... interesting, as is their overall behaviour; I like the fact that they put their prey to sleep.

The characterisations, the descriptions... It's all really good, as usual. Another great piece of writing from you!

Jacquelope - 16 years ago

Hey thanks for the comments! :) I had thought about doing this from a totally third party observer's perspective to enhance the National Geographic concept, but I had so little time to prepare that scenario... this was for Eka's Apr 7 Writer's Group deadline. As for being asleep, I'd intended for them to be awake but that would be illogical given the Arari's nature. That's why Delucina was brought in. I could have done more detail on her prey but I just didn't have the time. Or the guts. Argh.

Bitter - 16 years ago

This really does represent a major stepping out of the box for you. I applaud the effort.

Gentle_Grounds - 16 years ago

I thought about National Geographic when I read this, great story man.

Jacquelope - 16 years ago

Grammatical errors, eh? PM me please. I can put up an edited version.

Malakaiarcher - 16 years ago

Well it did seem a bit odder than usual, and a lil brief too. But still exciting to see the story unfolding. Makes me so curious to see where it might all go. Though I honestly wouldn't want it to end too soon. :P Although, .....not sure how to put this politely, ...... :/ ..... but there were some grammatical errors in your story that kinda stopped my fantasy dead in its tracks and made me re-read the sentence again to understand what it meant :/ Still. I do enjoy them, I haven't read this much in years.

Jacquelope - 16 years ago

Hey, much thanks! I hate to say it but the story isn't moving as fast as I wanted it to. I'm glad you liked it, I didn't feel I wrote this as well as usual.

Malakaiarcher - 16 years ago

Magnificent, superb, astonishing! These words mean nothing!! lol These stories are so interesting, if they were made into films (Granted obviously they'd be classified as porn) non the less it would be intertaining enough for the masses. Your style of writing is so vivid I can actually imagine everything in my mind. I'm watching your stories unfold before me. :P Keep up the good work.

Indighost - 13 years ago

Not bad. Very nice sex scenes, and swallowing scenes. I never quite had a picture of the main character. But overall well written.

2quick4u - 14 years ago

This was an amazing read! i thoroughly enjoyed this story!

Noki - 15 years ago

that was a really nice story! i love how you included the other gods, such as apollo and artimis. and the reference to hindu gods was neat too! very nicely written and i like your amazing descriptions! =)

Throat_Wolf - 15 years ago

Nice work. I don't like snuff vore; I prefer stuff where the victims can live again. Like this one. But for some reason it's just so rare...

Tiaji - 16 years ago

Great story. I didn't really like some of the main character's dialogue, but the plot was very original and your descriptions were really detailed. I liked the ending a lot, too. Good job. Must've taken you a long time to write!

Malakaiarcher - 16 years ago

I would like to say take as much time as you want so your spectacular work stays just as golden....but I'd be lyin :P But I will hold off and be patient...unlike Narissa in the first chapter :P

Jacquelope - 16 years ago

Woah. Thank you very much for the comments! You made my day. And you will certainly get more! This is just the build up so far. As for any of my stories that seem to end with no ending, don't you worry heheh.... I'm just in between adding more to them. I have to go slow and steady to make sure I don't put out crap, that's all.

Malakaiarcher - 16 years ago

Oh man this ones the best so far, I love all your works. The style, the story, the characters, all the unique information setting you right into the story as if its all real. (Not to mention the porn/vore/unbirthing. All well and good :P ) but the overall plots and sub-plots, everything is so awesome and moving. Though a lot of your stories just kinda end with no ending. I wish there was more. I'm so hooked on your stories now I'm like a story junky :P ME NEEDS MORE!!! :P Keep up the good work.

Gentle_Grounds - 15 years ago

Ha! I liked the jokes in the beginning.

French_snack - 16 years ago

Interesting start, interesting situation and characters. Quite a dramatic build-up... and a "nice" bit of vore at the end. ;) Good work, again.

French_snack - 16 years ago

Heh... That fairy should have suspected something. ;)

Great story. Very well written, as always, and I like the setting. Plus, consensual vore with a twist... And the fact that to enjoy being swallowed alive *is* actually considered weird, unlike most stories, makes it even more interesting. Very nice indeed!

French_snack - 15 years ago

Impressive. Vore as a form of torture has been used before, but never as effectively as this. Excellent work, as ever.

Jacquelope - 15 years ago

Well not necessarily. This has the potential to SPAM people message lists if they have a watch on me. The amount of updates that could need to be done COULD cause people to complain, or worse, take me off their watch list.

I like the way this system alerts people to look at stuff I've updated and which they may not have seen before, but I do not like the appearance of spamming...

I would be very happy with an option to NOT buzz a subscriber when I do an update.

In fact, someone else has asked Eka about how this can be fixed: http://aryion.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=21&t=19032

Gentle_Grounds - 15 years ago

Yeah, I happened to look above the dashboard and noticed eleven submissions. I was like, "What the fuck?" But it's all good.

Jacquelope - 15 years ago

LOL you said "pulls you in." Death by puns, I tell ya. Oh and sorry for the massive amount of re-submits. I changed the line breaks of all three stories as I promised.

Jacquelope - 15 years ago

I think I should have preserved the line breaks here that I have in all my newer stories. This will probably be fixed.

Gentle_Grounds - 15 years ago

However, I was wondering about your indentations and breaks between character dialog. It's like yours are put together in a block, but mines have a space. Maybe you do yours in a different format. Overall, I enjoyed it. I'm on to part three.

LordVengeance - 15 years ago

"Uncle Sam does not condone the use of torture and the ingestion of sentient beings as methods to handle traitors and deserters.

This being said, in order to deal with Mother Russia, Mother China, and other rivals more efficiently and reduce the number of traitors etc etc, UNCLE Sam is more than willing to 'unwittingly' allow AUNTY Sam and her special girls handle the problem."- memo of Security Head.

^_^ I enjoyed Vanessa's cruelty greatly, to be honest; it's a bit refreshing to see morals in abstentia again, although your stories with moral predators are also extremely interesting.

Krisexy - 15 years ago

yeah its the case of more american :/ (sadly)

my english is not perfect...but yeah its suppose to be my second language XD

and i know some spanish though...and useful words in others language like domoalligato or niet^^ XDXD

Jacquelope - 15 years ago

Thanks! I'm American but I kinda like Canada. I was wondering if English was your second language - heck, you know more English than I do French! O_O ^_^

Krisexy - 15 years ago

ooh wow im impressed :D!!

first time ever i read a story where they talk about canadas geography^^ i dont know if you canadian, but thank you for putting quebec (my homeland) XDXD makes me proud each time i see it^^

Jacquelope - 15 years ago

What else would one expect from a nation that spans a galaxy and is 400 million years old? You know, the Grue Combine is what WE call them. They know themselves as the Imperishable Empire, for a reason...

LordVengeance - 15 years ago

WHAT?!?!? OH NO! NONONONONO!!! GAHHH!

We'll never defeat them at that rate. Ever. *shudder* Even using multiple armadas and a Death Star wouldn't save us...

Jacquelope - 15 years ago

Ah, they could have consulted with the Siluvarans to know better what they were dealing with. Yeah, they'd have glassed this planet if they knew better.

But then that's the other dark secret... you glass a Grue Combine homeworld and another homeworld / galactic command nerve center comes online **immediately.**

LordVengeance - 15 years ago

I know... total lost opportunity. With a full scale assault that fast and the advantage of surprise, they could have been glassing those forests. Ah, well- for a recon squad they DID acquit themselves well.

Jacquelope - 15 years ago

The humans slipped in way too fast. They fell upon the lazy aerial defenses so fast the aliens never saw them coming. But as you can tell they were well on their way toward not making it back home alive... and this was just a recon squad trying to feel out how strong the planet's defenses were.

Jacquelope - 15 years ago

Yeah, I had to throw that little dig in there. ^_^

Glad you liked it... this fight was fairly inspired by watching a little anime called Karas. :)

KavenBach - 15 years ago

THAT. WAS. EPIC.

KavenBach - 15 years ago

"Made-in China Space elevator has fallen down four times..." ^_^ Still reading, but I had to LOL at that.

Imrhys - 15 years ago

Since one, I need the practice and two, I love the core concept of life force vore and manipulation, I'd gladly offer review assistance for such a rewrite. Around my RL schedule of course, but over 6 months... I think even I could handle that.

Jacquelope - 15 years ago

Wow, thanks for the comment! Keep an eye on this over the next 6 months, I'm going to be getting around to rewriting ALL of this... epically.

Imrhys - 15 years ago

I skimmed chapter one, a bad habit of mine until I hit something I like enough to back and reread, but this chapter. Wow, similiar life force/energies view points, but you're a lot better at writing it *bows appreciatively*

rotta287 - 6 years ago

Well damn, that is a lot of unbirth. I found this via Phantelle's "Make an unbirther", your comment there brought my attention to this and I dig it.

The dialogue feels pretty natural and there's clearly some other stuff going on there, and the unbirth itself is done pretty solidly too.

walkingbyself - 13 years ago

It took me so long to find this from when I last saw it. It's still good even now. Ah, I get to read it all over again. This was a really great chapter and I love the story again already. haha

Junsei - 16 years ago

NICE.

Imrhys - 14 years ago

son of a... i could shot you for doing THAT to Carl.

OMG, what a mind fucking. Loved it though. And yes first person would have made that far better, but you'll have one problem: the fairies have to talk some, how will you cover them ONLY through Carl's observations through first person?

Hmmm... not sure what i could add to this commentary wise >_>

Little things here and there, not sure how to correct them right now, but this is a top notch idea to build from. The rest of your stories riding upon this solid foundation have a good future/world to work with.

But you need to change up your anachronism tendencies >_>

More later in EPWG ^_^

TEASE XD

LordVengeance - 15 years ago

Ohhhhh. Now everything makes sense. By the way, your new avatar is cute.

Jacquelope - 15 years ago

This was an actual attack on a Bollar colony. The Bollars subsequently sent out a telepathic warning to everyone all across the galaxy. I will be re-writing this chapter in depth to clarify some things.

LordVengeance - 15 years ago

Corr. They couldn't just warn us, could they? The most vicious, brutal, adrenaline species ever to exist didn't even get the chance to try... well. That's a little disappointing, but the story was definitely intruiging. You did say it was a vision, however, so did this event ever come to pass? Or was it but a warning?

Jacquelope - 16 years ago

Hey thanks, French Snack... it's nice when my stories turn out good enough to draw people forth from their core interests. :)

This story was actually one of several increasingly clear and accurate dreams that Carl had in the late 23rd century, which led up to the "Siluvara Files".